experimenting....not just for druggies

The first time I had ever seen Frank Zappa, it was on an episode of The Monkees. He had made an appearance on the final episode of the show, dressed up as Mike Nesmith (with green wool cap) while Nesmith dressed up as him. At the time, I had no clue what was going on, or who Frank Zappa was. But unbeknownst to me, Zappa and Nesmith were friends at the time, which was part of the reason why he was on the show. Their mock interview ended in the trashing of a car on set, Mother People playing in the background. 

Before this project, I had never bothered to listen to Frank Zappa or find out anything more about him. All I had known is that he had a guest appearance on a television show (and a movie)....and nothing more. Yet, in keeping with the importance of my project, I decided to give myself a lesson in the avant-garde. Zappa, apparently, was very well known for his interest in creating music that went beyond the norm. Using different instruments, sounds, and even stranger vocals, he captured music in a way that very few had before him. 

Now with many suggesting Frank Zappa & The Mothers of Invention to me, one of my friends told me that if I really wanted to learn more about Zappa, I needed to listen to We're Only In It For The Money. So today, after collecting more "souvenirs" along my path, I decided to let go just a little and spend some time understanding the avant-garde lifestyle.

While I thought the song Revolution #9 by The Beatles was pretty far out there, it doesn't compare to Frank Zappa! Strange phrases? Check. Use of unconventional sounds? Check. Songs that string together but don't necessarily make sense? Check. For lack of better phrasing, I found Zappa to be a bit of a mind-fuck with the way he created music.

Yet, as strange as it may be, I found that Zappa created the music that he envisioned. And that is something beautiful in itself. His fascination with experimental melodies were a big thing during the 60's. The Beatles did it, The Beach Boys did it too. (In fact, the album cover for We're Only In It For The Money paid homage to The Beatles album Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band.) Its success during this time helped pave the way to different harmonies and variations on what we call music today. As always, I learned something too.

Music doesn't always need to fit into a neat, harmonizing package. It doesn't need to make sense to everyone. Music can be defined differently by every person, deemed meaningful in various ways. Whether it be in the lyrics, or the singer, or even the instrumentation used. Zappa wasn't exactly one of my favorites to listen to, but I wouldn't discount him either. Because after all, he was suggested as a note-worthy artist. With that being said, another entry in my travel blog....ready to see where the next stop takes me.

~Jenny Rockstar

in the summertime......

Sometimes trying to be a daily blogger on this site can be hard.......or at least that's how I feel when it comes to coming up with new material to write. Most of the time, I just can't find the words (or the time) to talk about things on a day-to-day basis.......I take those words back right now.

As summer comes to that final leg of August, I took another break on my journey, pulled out my roadmap, and started to contemplate my next step. And it occurred to me that even though I'm on this music experience of a lifetime, keeping true to my regular entries would be a great way to continue writing when I need a break from all the new music I have been pushing myself to listen to.

Yet summer has lingered on my mind lately......and all of the music that I tend to associate with it. Sure, it could be as simple as looking up some of the standard summer tunes people long to hear during this time, but I'm not just your average person. The summer is more than just the themes of the music. It's all about the attitude, the body of work, the feelings you get when you listen to the song. It's more than just drinks with umbrellas, a closet full of tank tops and shorts, and nights of digging your toes into the sand. It's a state of mind, a feeling from deep within, that relaxation and calm that comes with listening to the waves and smelling freshly fried funnel cake.

In summer fashion, I have thrown away structure (i.e., Top Ten) and focused on a variety of songs that I feel embody what I look for in summer music. So here are my top 13 songs that compliment my personal summer soundtrack.

Clair de Lune by Claude Debussy - A bit off what I would consider my musical expertise path, but one has not really lived until hearing this classic romantic period piece from Debussy. The instrumental themes in Clair de Lune build like the ebb and flow of the ocean waves.....gradually building, then growing to the climax before pulling back again. It reminds me of a wistful, dream-like experience, which is what summer is to most who relax and enjoy it. 

Dream A Little Dream of Me by The Mamas & The Papas - I'll admit, when it comes to The Mamas & The Papas, it's difficult to pick just one song that embodies summer for me. Why is that? Because their West Coast style bears summery themes. Who else would talk about dancing and California with such passion and adoration? 

The Escape by Rupert Holmes - I always find it amusing when people automatically draw a blank upon mention of this song. Yet when the chorus hits....just about every classic 70's rock fan will sing along....drunkenly, if possible. But this song is more than just about Pina Coladas and getting caught in the rain. It's the story in the song. The way Holmes describes the characters falling in love all over again, even though they are not aware that they are responding to each other through the ad. It alludes to how a little bit of mystery in the relationship has brought back that spark that they once shared before it made them stray a little for something more exciting. 

Better Together by Jack Johnson - What better way to incorporate summer themes into modern music? This Hawaiian native has been on the scene for over a decade or so, yet until recently (around the time of Curious George hitting theaters), Johnson became a household name. His catchy island-style rhythms & harmonies resonate throughout this song, almost reminiscent of the elusive summer romance.

Wouldn't It Be Nice by The Beach Boys - Another classic example of musicians who embody that summer/fun vibe through any of their music. The Beach Boys are iconic and popular for their song themes about girls, surfing, and cool classic cars. Yet instead of choosing one of those standard themes, I decided to go with something from their breakaway album Pet Sounds. It's just proof that it doesn't matter what the Beach Boys are singing about; their music will transcend and fit the mold any day.

La Mer/Verlaine by Charles Trenet - As part of my journey, these selections would be the first (two) songs that I would add from my own education. Branching out into new territory, I challenged myself with learning more about 1940's and 1950's French music....settling into the soulful, creature comforts of Charles Trenet. His voice oozes classic summer with a martini or glass of wine at a boat party on the French Riviera. A more sophisticated palate, but one that just seems so fitting on a night where the stars are out and the temperatures cool enough to open all the windows while sipping a glass of my favorite Pinot Noir. 

Urge for Going by Joni Mitchell - Break out my inner hippie, Joni Mitchell has come onto the scene! I have always enjoyed her folksy singer/songwriter style....and this song is no exception. Whereas every once in a while I feel the need to be sophisticated, I also feel the need to put my toes in the grass, run in the rain, and feel the sun beat down onto my face. Mitchell captures that campfire acoustic vibe all too well.

Hotel California by The Eagles - Cue the epic masterpiece. While Hotel California really has no summer-style themes, it always seems to me that this is the one song that most patrons long to hear when they're at an outdoor beach bar. Originally about American decadence/hedonism and its downfall, Henley's voice captures the voice of the narrator perfectly in this ballad. You hear him talk about stopping at this hotel along the way, bleary-eyed and weary from his travels. Yet as he's there, the strange happenings begin to unravel before him and when he goes to leave, he finds that no matter what he does, he will never be able to fully put the hotel behind him....he has become a part of it.

Here Comes The Sun by George Harrison - I would be remiss if I didn't include this musical gem on my list. After all, a Beatles song is perfect for any season! But this one? Definitely a necessity for the summer......simply because it signifies the beginning of wonderful times ahead! When I think about the summer, I feel it's a time of refreshing one's soul, a time to put all that has happened behind you in order to move forward in life. A clean slate for what's to come......and it shall be exciting!

Stardust by Hoagy Carmichael - If you couldn't tell, I have a thing for older music. Just the way it captures innocence and beauty all within its melody......astounding. The vibe being reminiscent of a Great Gatsby-esque party, champagne and an evening gown. Or even just a nice bubble bath, with the candles lit.....and a nice chilled glass of Chardonnay. I consider it my more mellow selection of the summer, when one wants to just unwind and relax for a while.

You and I Both by Jason Mraz - Just like Jack Johnson, Mraz is an artist who is able to be considered a summer-style performer. Anything I could have suggested of his would be fitting for this list. Yet I chose this song particularly for the fact that it was the summer of 2003 the first time I had heard it. His guitar style is classic, his voice is light and clear, and his music makes me feel like being at the beach on a warm summer night. During the winter, when I need that summer boost, I can always rely on Mraz to take me back there....zeppoles not included.

I'll Be Seeing You by Billie Holiday - This is the true "lady" of music.......and her style can be adapted to fit any season! But I feel this fits in the idea of summer romance....when you're saying goodbye and knowing that you'll think of that person whenever you're around something that reminds you of them. Call me a hopeless romantic, if you will, but just popping in some Lady Day and dancing with your significant other, it's timeless.

The Door Into Summer by The Monkees - The only song on my list that mentions summer in it, but the most complex of all. For being known as a "boy-band" style of music, by the time their fourth album Pisces, Aquarius, Capricorn & Jones, Ltd. was released, The Monkees had taken a more serious approach to their music and what they hoped they would produce. The chorus stands out the most to me, talking about the familiar things that remind us of summer....and how it all fades away once the summer is gone. Simple in meaning and melody.

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As I sit here reflecting back on this past summer, I cannot help but be filled with gratitude, love, joy, and above all else....a wonderful soundtrack to remember it all by.

~Jenny Rockstar

serving up a generous slice.......in retrospect

I wanted to take a moment on this journey to take one step back into my collection......viewing something that I own, yet I now listen to with a more careful ear. It probably doesn't make sense as to why on my own path I would manage to reflect back onto a piece of work that I already own, yet let me explain.

While I was finishing up writing about Dylan last night, I kept thinking back to a moment during Matt's solo gig last night. As per usual, at any bar, you will have the local patrons who come to partake in tasty libations and want nothing more than to listen to some of their favorite classics performed live. This crowd definitely didn't disappoint. As Matt started to play the opening strains to Don McLean's "American Pie," this man who could've been my father walks up to him and poses the following question: What is the theory behind this song?

A simple question, yet it caught my interest just as quickly as it was asked. What was the true meaning behind this song? I knew that it referenced "the day the music died," when Buddy Holly, Richie Valens, and The Big Bopper died in that tragic plane crash on February 3, 1959. Yet what about the rest of the song? There was this epic 8 minute song that made more references to music than most people realize. I couldn't wait to get home to place the words in front of me, pull up Don McLean on my iTunes, and really analyze the song for its true artistic value.

And Don McLean is a pure genius for it! In so many words, he managed to capture the essence of the 60s in eight minutes. The allusions to Elvis (the king) and Dylan (the Jester), as well as Helter Skelter (Charles Manson) and The Beatles (the marching band & sergeants), just to name a few.......all mentioned within stanzas of one another. Or at least, this is the idea that many have created through listening to the song and discussing it through the years.  

But it's more than just the people.....it's the moments captured. McLean recalling the moment he opened the paper and discovered that Buddy Holly had been killed in that plane crash. The summer of Charles Manson and Helter Skelter. The Great Space Race and the violent undertakings at Altamont. All prolific moments within the course of the 1960's that changed the face of the culture drastically. 

Yet I can't help but wonder, what is the significance of "American Pie"? And why is she of such importance that she has the song named after her? Or maybe, just maybe, with all the musical reference and the sad moments captured, that "Miss American Pie" is not a person. Just maybe, it's a metaphor for the American Dream. For what many during this time had sought in their pursuit of life and liberty. Their slice of the pie, so to speak. While there is no real concrete understanding of what the song is truly about, since McLean refuses to explain the significance of the song to this day, taking one step back reminded me of yet another important lesson: listening to the words.

For so many people, we tend to just like a song for its catchy melody or the way it makes us feel. We bop along to it in the car, never paying any mind to what the song could be about. Yet sometimes, we all need to give a closer listen. There's more to be said for really listening to a song, but I think for now, I could use a slice of American Pie before I get to my next musical destination.

~Jenny Rockstar

an adventure in album appreciation.......

When first contemplating who to ask for music, it dawned on me that throughout my life, I have surrounded myself with the best people to suggest music to me: musicians. While they may play originals or covers of other people's music, they must have their own influences that brought them to their current career. And so it became my initial step on the journey.

I could start from the first suggestions handed to me, yet I'd rather start with the first album that piqued my interest on the list. John, the bassist for Big Bang Baby, explained to me that good music to him is reflected in a body of work rather than in just a song or lyric. It's all about the big picture and not necessarily the one hit that made them famous. That being said, he placed Bob Dylan's Blonde on Blonde album on his quite lengthy list for me. And while I've never exactly listened to Dylan I decided to give it a whirl in order to understand a little more about album appreciation. 

So on Friday night, with Matt away at his gig at Trump Plaza in Atlantic City, I pulled up the track listing for Blonde on Blonde and proceeded to put on my headphones, crank up the music, and immerse myself. Each song was placed through my trusty Google search engine as I located each track.....making sure that I followed the album listing to stay true to its form.

At first, I realized that no matter what song Dylan sings, he will always have this wavering tone to his voice. Originally, I used to find it kinda annoying. It would constantly have this sort of 'back and forth' motion to it, not a smooth consistency that most artists have to their voice. Yet as I moved past the first track and kept listening to the album itself, Dylan's voice became less annoying or grating.......in fact, I realized that his voice had its own rhythm. It reminded me of the ocean when I heard it, the way that the waves seem to move back and forth, rippling like sound. While at first one may feel a little agitated at hearing him sing, once you continue listening to Dylan, he tends to calm and soothe you, just like those ocean waves.

Secondly, I've also learned how above being a musician......Dylan is truly an amazing poet. Once you get through his voice and the melody, the words shine through. And they're different, spoken from a place that in all my years of writing, I've never been able to find. Who else can evoke such imagery from their words like he does? During my listening experience, I closed my eyes and I could picture the song, something very few artists have been able to accomplish in their career. Add in his voice and the melody, not to mention his classic touch of a harmonica, you have poetry in motion. 

And just like John explained to me about focusing on the body of work, I listened in a similar fashion and found that more than anything else, Dylan is best observed when you put his work all together. If you want to focus on one song, that's just fine. True, you may find some songs are better than others, like how I feel "Just Like a Woman" stimulated my auditory senses more than "Stuck Inside of Mobile with the Memphis Blues Again." Yet when you can piece it together and listen in one continuous strand, it's even more epic in meaning. 

Before starting this journey, I noticed that a lot of my music wasn't always in full album form. I tend to pick and choose certain songs from particular albums, not really focusing on what the album sounds like as a whole. In today's day and age, we tend to pick apart things to get to what we want, instead of giving everything else attention. I equate it to the equivalent of a really good ice cream sundae. Each component is delicious on its own, yet when you put all the ingredients together, you can appreciate and enjoy it as a whole. 

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As always, I truly appreciate all the suggestions that have been sent my way. Who knows where my next adventure will take me? We shall see.

~Jenny Rockstar

breaking the project down.....

So I've realized with my new project that this may be something that pushes me to write more blogs, which I am looking forward to. Because honestly, after receiving pages upon pages of suggestions, I have found that I don't quite know where to start when I begin the writing, yet when I do start........I doubt the education will stop! And balancing this with my school photography job, family and friend outings, writing and my never-ending support for my bf and his music.......I've placed quite the task in front of me.

But what is music? For some it's more than just words and melody and rhythm all jammed together. It's about an expression of your soul. Just like artists create visual masterpieces and writers string together jumbles of words to evoke emotion, musicians are able to aurally appeal to their fan base with their words and melodies dripping in emotion. I find that above all else, music speaks the words that we sometimes cannot. There have been several occasions where I fail to find the words to express my true emotions. (And for me to be at a loss, being a writer, that is a rather difficult feat.) What can I say? There are moments that the music I listen to can explain what's in my heart better than I can. Whether that emotion be love, anger, pain, happiness, peace, camaraderie..........there will always be a song to fill that feeling.

With that being said, do expect my first entry soon, as I am currently sorting through the mass of music that has been bestowed upon me. And yes, quite a bit of it will be going onto my iTunes when I have the funds to do so. There will still be several different entries, such as my top ten lists and random trains of thought.....can't just neglect the rest of my life for one single project!

And for those who have contributed from their collections......thank you. I've found some of your selections to be quite exquisite, sometimes mind-blowing! I'm looking forward to sharing my findings with my readers.

~Jenny Rockstar

P.S. - As a side note from my current findings, I do recommend Jeff Buckley........his music (covers and original) are beautifully executed.

taking you on my amazing musical journey........

I've always heard it said that "the journey of a 1,000 miles begins with one step." I do have Lao Tzu to thank for those beautiful words, because they are more true than most people know.

Journey.
Such a simple word, yet differing in meaning for each person that thinks about what this word means to them.

Some people travel internationally for their journey, believing that seeing new places and different cultures will help them to understand the world better.

Other people keep it more local, seeking the solace of their roots to figure themselves out.

Some have a spiritual journey to seek deeper meaning to their life, while others have journeys in self-discovery through family history and their past.

Journeys can be found in every decision you make, every idea you create, and every moment that you take a chance to take risks.

As a change of pace, I've decided to go on a journey of sorts.......a musical journey. And as an added bonus, I get to take all of you with me. Why? Because I'm stuck in a musical rut at this moment and in order to get out of it, I need everyone's help. I have such an extensive music collection, yet I feel it lacks something. It describes me perfectly, full of several different types of music that I find interesting, well-rounded and eclectic to a fault. But where now? I have so much music that has been part of my journey......and I need more to complete it. In turn, I get to learn more about those who I encounter along my journey.

So I set out to pose a challenge to my friends and those around me, for those who know my musical tastes to push me into different directions with music they feel I would like or appreciate. A pretty simple request, I know, one that has given me quite a few pages filled with nothing but artists, songs, or albums that I must listen to now.

I've received such suggestions from rockabilly to classical, indie rock to techno rock, international to local fare. And while I indulge in these new musical ventures, I hope to take you, the reader, on my musical journey through my experiences while I listen to the music that will help compose my life's soundtrack. I think it'll not only help me find new music, but also have the chance to learn more about the people around me; to grasp a sense of who they are through what they listen to.

I have a feeling that this one idea is going to change my life in some huge way, so let's see where this particular journey takes me..........I'm ready.

~Jenny Rockstar

on the flip side.........

Before iTunes became a hot commodity, I can remember walking into Best Buy or Sam Goody and purchasing many of the albums and singles I have today. Flipping through some of those singles, one of my favorite things was not listening to just the hit single that made it onto that CD or tape, but the second track that always managed to elude the top billing. Through years of listening to several of my favorite artists, I have found a love in giving the remainder of an album the opportunity to impress me........so far, I haven't been disappointed that much. 

Fast forward to now, where many have the chance to download just the "B-Side" songs that they love, everyone is given the chance to break away from the hit single and understand why a big name artist can be called just that. Because it's not all about the big song on the album anymore. No......it's more about the body of work that they produce over their career. Whether it be good, bad, indifferent, a true artist is one who can give you something to listen to other than the songs that grace the radio waves. So as a fun break-away treat to top ten hits, I give you my favorite top ten B-Sides!

1) Tuesday's Gone by Lynyrd Skynyrd - The first time I had heard this song, it was in the movie Dazed and Confused. Skynyrd was always known for their big hits such as Free Bird and Sweet Home Alabama. Hell, even now, I can mention at least three or four popular cover bands that still play these songs today. And while I admit to loving the more favorable tunes, it was Tuesday's Gone that really grabbed me the most. It plays with the idea of a man losing the woman he loved, a story that just about anyone is familiar with. Yet the way L.S. makes it more personal by giving a distinct day of the week and really getting to the heart of the matter of the singer not being afraid admit the desire to be alone while they nurse their broken heart.......it's compelling. Furthermore, the instrumentation and musicianship that has been put into this song always brings close to tears any time it has come on my iPod or by some strange fate......or the radio.

2) Bell Bottom Blues by Eric Clapton - While this song may have been a single, this song was also a b-side to Layla, which is one of Clapton's most moving pieces in his musical career. But Bell Bottom Blues is an epic piece in its own right. Where Layla was all about Pattie Boyd Harrison and his love for her, this piece deals with the idea of unrequited love in its simplest of forms. Where most have dealt with the notion of loving someone that they couldn't be with, the words are, in essence, the most realistic. That very idea of loving someone so much that you would do anything they wanted you to do, but if they were to leave you completely, that they shouldn't be surprised by the idea that you could move on and find love again. We all talk about never feeling or loving anyone as much as we love certain people in our lives, but it can happen again. And Bell Bottom Blues gets to the heart of that, sharing with us that desire to be with someone we want more than anything in the world, yet knowing that with any love, when it is lost........it can be found again.

3) Dear Prudence by The Beatles - Yes.....I know that The Beatles are a force all their own. Any song that is mentioned on here would not be considered much of a B-Side.......considering that the Beatles catalog is something that is not exclusive on radio. Instead, I've heard many Beatles songs make it onto radio stations, even ones that were never released as actual singles. But I take this moment to give the band their due because yes, even their non-hit songs were just as note-worthy in their career. This one is no exception. Off their extremely lengthy and eccentric White Album, I can honestly say that this one is, by far, my favorite track. Written about Mia Farrow's sister, Prudence, who dedicated her entire stay in India to meditation so much that she missed out on being part of the group. And in turn, Lennon wrote this song for her as his own way of letting her know that they wanted her to be a part of the group and come out and have a good time with them instead of being a recluse. It is my go-to song for needing a simple pick-me-up during a stressful day......a reminder that there are other things going on around me and I should focus on them and have fun with life rather than lock myself away from the world. 

4) We by Neil Diamond - It has become a tradition to hear Sweet Caroline at just about any bar that I go to.....it's a classic! Everyone I know can name at least that song when they hear the name Neil Diamond. But what about his other songs? I'm sure that if everyone really thought about it, they could come up with more than just one song by Neil that they're familiar with. America......I'm A Believer.......Hello Again.......all wonderfully crafted songs in their own right. But We takes the classic Neil we all know and love and turns him into an acoustic genius! Discovering this hidden gem on the soundtrack to Funny People, I found myself diving deep into the lyrical ocean of romance.......awed by its simplicity in words and meaning. Because in this particular song, Neil Diamond portrays love as more than just a one-way thing.....he gives it dimension and understanding. It takes both parties to make love work, not just you or me. But us. 

5) When The Tigers Broke Free by Pink Floyd - For any die-hard fans of The Wall, this song is legend. Yet for those who are not familiar with the album and have only acquainted themselves with Pink Floyd's more popular hits, then I feel sorry for you.....because you have no idea on what you're missing out on! Broken up into two parts in the movie, When The Tigers Broke Free tells the story of how Pink's father was taken from him during the war. The way Waters paints this vivid picture of his father in the midst of combat and how the King signed the letter notifying his family of his father's death with a rubber stamp......it's moving in ways that one cannot even comprehend. You feel the raw, yet disconnected emotion within the words and the melody. 

6) Ripple by Grateful Dead - Now this is a true B-Side, as it was known as one for the single Truckin'. I admit I am not the hugest fan of the Dead, but there a few signature songs that I can really get into......this one being one of them. What truly sets this apart from most songs is the way the song itself describes a person's life like a ripple in the water (of life): it is short and will eventually fade, but at least while it's there it makes an impact on the water. 

7) Warning Sign by Coldplay - In its entirety, A Rush of Blood to the Head is one amazing album......I recommend this album to anyone who is looking for something intriguing to listen to. And yes, while there are many great hit songs on this particular album, Warning Sign is one that shakes me down to the very core. I can remember many nights of crying about stupid boys when I heard this song. The words talking about loss in a way where the person singing wants nothing more than to forget the loss and be back in their arms again. Whether it be about the loss of someone close to you or mourning the end of a relationship, the song always catches me in a way that no other Coldplay song can. It's looking for those signs that the end was near, but you couldn't find it.......and let's face it, how many of us have been in that position before? Quite a few.

8) Disenchanted by My Chemical Romance - There is definitely more to My Chemical Romance than just I'm Not Okay (I Promise) and this song is testament to it. Off the album Welcome to the Black Parade this is one song that has always grabbed me more than anything else MCR has released. From my own interpretation, I always took it as the idea that the person singing was talking about the idea of how they overcame adversity from their past and made it to the point where they view those who tormented them as lonely and unwanted. I distinctly feeling empowered by the melody and the words strolling through the streets of NYC to my travel filmmaking class after a wonderful night in the early stages of dating Matt and the world before me. 

9) Einstein on the Beach (Waiting for an Eggman) by Counting Crows - Ever have one of those moments where you hear a song and it takes you back? Well, of course I wrote about this in my previous blog, but I saved this song for here, because Counting Crows are such an eclectic and charming band that just happen to have a lot of singles! Yet this song is such a rare track that I had to include it on this list. I can remember my friend Katie and her sister, Drea, in the car with me......and this song blaring as loud as possible through the speakers. Years later, I purchased the compilation Films About Ghosts (The Best of Counting Crows) and couldn't help but put this song on repeat, re-living the first day I had heard it and blaring it as loud as possible.

10) Cried by Hanson - So if you couldn't tell, I do actually like Hanson......ever since they came out with Mmmbop in 1997. I went to more than one concert, own quite a few of their albums, and thanks to my family, own quite a bit of memorabilia. When the song I Will Come To You came out as a single, Cried was the actual B-Side on it. The first time my friend Katie and I heard the song, we fell in love. It was catchy, it was something we could dance to, and most important, it was our favorite band singing it. And for those who still bash Hanson to this day, keep in mind that these three brothers started writing and performing their own music when most of us were still into Barbies and Hot Wheels. Now that is certainly impressive.

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I have always considered the B-Side as the under-appreciated music. Many of us can relate to feeling like that, wanting to take the spotlight, yet not feeling like we have the star material. But the best part about it all? Those who do appreciate it understand what makes it special......and makes it stand out above the ones that clamor for the spotlight. 

~Jenny Rockstar

Thanks for the memory of things I can't forget........

It was Oscar Wilde who once wrote "Memory...is the diary that we all carry about with us." 

Wilde was definitely a very gifted writer and very profound in this statement, for it is our own mind and senses that help to preserve those memories that we carry on in our lives. For me, just the smell of a pack of Dentyne gum conjures up those memories of spending time with my Grandma Shirley when I was a budding young lady. The taste of chocolate-covered Pocky reminds me of those random movie nights with my friend Danielle in college. Even a mere glimpse at photographs of Central Park gives me the solace that I would get from walking around Manhattan.

But when it comes to music, my memories are the strongest. Most say it is scent, but when I hear a familiar song, I can piece together some of the most wonderful (or heart-wrenching) memories in my life. Just a few opening notes of a familiar tune takes me away to a moment as simple as brushing my teeth or as significant as the moment my senior year of college really hit me.

1) Wish You Were Here by Pink Floyd: One of the greatest Pink Floyd songs has one of the simplest memories attached to it. I can remember standing in front of the mirror of the bathroom at Matt's house, brushing my teeth and getting ready to drive up North for work. Matt, as always, was awake (after 4-5 hours of sleep) and in a music mood. Picking up his acoustic, he serenaded me with some Elton John and Oasis.........but it was Floyd that stood out the most. Standing at the door of the bathroom, he started to strum this song and suddenly, it took on a new meaning for us. It was more than just a song at that moment. It was our relationship taking that next level and being some more meaningful than either of us could have ever imagined. Whenever Matt and the guys play it at a show, I am transported back to that moment. And yes, I even think about Colgate.

2) Good Riddance (Time Of Your Life) by Green Day: So yes, I associate this song with my ex-boyfriend in more ways than one would know, but this one is not solely about him. More importantly, I think about my last Drama Club showcase in my senior year. Our theme was the idea of growing up, set to song, dance, and acting numbers. For my number, I chose this song for the way that it talks about life and how no matter what, as long as you enjoyed it, it was worth it. It was the second to last individual number of the night before our group encore and as nervous as I was, I came out in my own attire, quote book in hand. Walking down the aisle and through the audience, I made my way to one of the front corners of the stage, plopping down and opening the book to a favorite poem of mine. In there, I tucked some familiar pics of my ex and friends, making sure to give a genuine, thoughtful smile before the song started. By the end of the song, I was in tears, moved by the moment.

3) 867-5309 by Tommy Tutone: Before Matt joined Big Bang Baby, I HATED when anyone called me Jenny. You can call me Jennifer, you can call me Jenn, but never had I been able to accept it when someone would call me Jenny. It was the equivalent of nails on a chalkboard. When friends would attempt to call me Jenny, I cringed. Because, in all honesty, I didn't feel like a Jenny. But then came Big Bang Baby and before I knew it, I had inherited the nickname of........Jenny. And while on occasion I still do cringe at the nickname, it makes me smile knowing that even though it's not my preferred choice of name, that the boys from the band prefer to call me that. It's like their own personal nickname for me. Since this song is played at most of the shows I am at, I always feel like it's a reminder of just how much I consider these guys family.

4) With You In Your Dreams by Hanson: About 12 years ago, I lost my Grandma Shirley to lung cancer. To this day, it affects me almost as deeply as it did when I was 14 and in my freshman year of high school. During this time, my love for classic rock took a minor back-burner to my love of pop and boy bands. You name the band, I probably had their album. Yet in my freshman year, Hanson became my favorite band, despite all the ridicule I would get for listening to them. While since then I have found other bands to love, this one in particular I will always remember when I think of my Grandmother. Before she died, she gave me a Hanson t-shirt, along with a few glossy head-shots of them (courtesy of Eggo and their promotion at the time). Yet what makes this song stand apart is that Hanson wrote this song for when their own grandmother passed away. And so, when that fateful day came for me, I put that t-shirt on and played this particular track, crying as I listened to every word. Later on that summer, I got the chance to see them live and in the midst of one amazing show, this song came on. With my parents and friends around me, I cried, knowing that this was my grandmother's way of reminding me she was with me. Even now, I still get teary-eyed whenever I listen to this on my iTunes.

5) I Turn To You by Melanie C. - When I was a senior in high school, this song came out on the radio. Coincidentally, this was also the year I got my driver's license and started to give my friend & neighbor Manny rides home from school. Also a complete coincidence, just about any time we got in the car, this song would without fail, always come on in the car, whether it be on KTU or Z100. Manny and I always shared a laugh over hearing it and in time, would sing loud and proud to the song. When I graduated from high school, we lost touch as I went to college and immersed myself in lots of different activities with new friends. But even now, years later, when Manny and I seem to catch up, he'll give me that little reminder with a YouTube link or a line from the song.......and it will be like nothing has changed.

6) Twist and Shout by The Beatles - So imagine, if you will, my freshman year of college. I was starting to come out of my shell quite a bit in this year, making more friends and memories than I could have ever imagined. Then the Student Activities Director comes up to you and asks you to be a part of the Talent Show for Spirit Week. And in that moment, it's a chance to really break out and show the student body what you're made of. So in a black mini-skirt, one-shouldered purple tank, and knee-high black boots with fishnets, you're ready to take on the crowd! After several ballads, this is the chance to get the crowd up and moving......and your friends are ready to come out and help you! When that music starts, it's like something takes over you, urging you out into the spotlight as you belt it out just like John did when The Beatles covered this song. Before you know it, the crowd is up and out of their seats, screaming and cheering as loud as they can! And when the song is over, you've proven to the rest of the school that while you're usually quiet and reserved, you definitely know how to rock out! From that moment on, I made it a point to participate in as many Drama Club productions and Talent Showcases that I could be a part of.......because in this moment, I learned how incredible it felt to pull myself out of my shell and become who I am today.........Jenn.

7) No Rain by Blind Melon - While Big Bang Baby may cover this song now, I can remember being 9 or 10 years old the first time I heard this song. I remember that video distinctly as the bumblebee video. Just the opening strains of this song and I still smell the chlorine of my friend Mari's pool, the feel of the wind on my face from riding our bikes around the neighborhood, and the taste of a tall glass of refreshing iced tea. And most importantly, I can close my eyes and remember my childhood.......and how that summer began a tremendous change in my life. I was gaining more friends, breaking away from my parents (even though it was difficult), and learning more and more about the world around me. And sometimes, what I wouldn't give for the feeling of my clothes sticking to me after a good swim on a hot summer day.

8) Unforgettable by Nat King Cole - More than anything else, when I hear this song, I can close my eyes and still see my grandfather's face and the way he saw me peruse his music collection. I was an inquisitive six year old, plucking such gems as Tony Bennett and Frank Sinatra out from the small stack of cassette tapes. As the stereo played oldies and we talked about music, I can remember hearing the first few notes of Unforgettable and asking my Pop-Pop about this song. He then told me about Nat King Cole........and I became intrigued with this song. It was at this moment I knew that I wanted to learn the piano and become involved in music. In fact, the main reason I decided that music was my path was because I was determined to take lessons and figure out how to play this song. My Pop-Pop taught me a lot about life and how sometimes taking big risks (like divorce) can lead you to where you should be. Even now, at 26 years (8 years since the passing of my Pop-Pop), I hear this song anywhere and I'm taken back to one of the most defining moments in who I wanted to be.......tears to always follow.


9) Hear You Me by Jimmy Eat World - Although I do remember hearing the band perform this live, what really stuck out about this song is that when Matt and I were in the beginning stages of dating, my ex sent me this song on my phone....with him playing and singing the sorrowful ballad. The song was written for two fans who were killed in a car accident in Cali......and the band wrote a song mourning their loss. While I didn't lose someone to death, hearing this song was like mourning the end of the past four years of my life.........as I got ready to embrace the future that lay before me. So much had happened and this song made me feel like I could finally have closure on a huge chapter of my life. Every once in a while, when I hear this song, I can now smile knowing that whatever happened is over and now my life has really begun.

10)  Because I Got High by Afroman - All of my other picks on this list have been meaningful in more life-changing ways. But this one? Not so much. The summer before starting college, my friends and I all got into the Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back soundtrack. Being cliche and being huge Kevin Smith fans, we would listen to that album over and over again, always quoting the dialogue tracks and singing along with our favorite songs! And while there were better songs on that soundtrack than this one, I remember this one the most, because whenever I close my eyes I can still hear the laughter and camaraderie that existed between all of us that summer. The night before I moved into school, we went to see this movie on its opening night, sharing in one final get-together before we all parted ways in the next chapter of our lives. 

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It's important to have memories, even when you don't want to remember them. They give you the confidence to keep going (or to take a step back when re-assessing). The push in the direction you've needed to go. And if those memories come with a kickass soundtrack, then at least you have something to listen to while you remember.

~Jenny Rockstar

Conversation with my 16 year-old self..........

Last week, as I was going through my Facebook feed, I took notice to a post that my friend Jina posted from John Mayer's blog. When I clicked on it, he discussed the things he would tell his younger self if he had the chance to do so.


Now, while I know that I need to live my life with no regrets and that I can't change what has happened, only how I look at it, if I ever had the chance to talk to a 16 year-old version of myself, I'd have plenty to say!


I spend so much time making music and celeb lists for fun, but I wanted to make a list of things I'd say to my younger self if I ever had the chance to talk to her:


1) What upsets you now will be NOTHING compared to the trials ahead. Dances, school papers, having a date on a Saturday night.......it's not as important as when you graduate from college and make it out into the real world. Having difficulty in choosing what outfit to wear when hanging out with friends will be a blip on the radar next to a job, paying bills, and taking care of yourself. And what happens when you have to worry about car expenses, how much toilet paper you have left, or whether or not you can afford certain necessities at the grocery store? The real world will be brutal and life will kick you in the ass, so just understand that the little trivial moments right now will hold no bearing on what lies ahead.


2) Love exists, even if it doesn't feel like it will be happening anytime soon. When you eventually date, there will be pain and heartache and it will feel like it's the end of the world. But it's not. The pain is merely a reminder that you have a heart and that you are feeling emotion.......even when you wish the pain would go away. Sometimes love fades and you have to make the hardest decisions when choosing what is right for you, but it's worth it in the end. Believe me, having your heart broken two months before your wedding really puts life into perspective.......and once you're ready, there will be someone who helps you forget what this felt like.


3) Popularity will become irrelevant with age. When you're younger, having as many friends as possible is looked at as a good thing, but not always. What's more imperative is that you find people who understand and like you for who you are, not what you own or what your parents make. It is better to count your best friends on one hand rather than just have a list of casual acquaintances.


4) Yes, there are still people who will act like they're still in high school. While many think that high school is over the second you receive your diploma, this is not always the case. Some will still re-live those days as though they were the most important moments in their life, even if it's only a stepping stone to what's really to come. You don't need those people in your life; their drama means nothing in your own goals and dreams.


5) Don't be afraid to branch out. When you get out in the real world, the only way to meet new and interesting people is to get outside of your box every now and then. 


Rock that Talent Show in some sexy attire.
Participate in Wiccan rituals to learn more about different cultures & religions.
Find solace in a moonlight walk.
Drink underage at a dive bar with your friends. 
Go to a few band afterparties and let go for a while.


Just don't stop living! You need something to tell your grandchildren when they ask you for wild & crazy stories of your life.


6) Things will blow over. No matter how many arguments or hardships come your way, it can always be worse than what it is. Give things time......everything will smooth over with some time and distance. Don't beat yourself up over a friendship that fades or a relationship that ends. It all happens for good reason and with the healing, everything will get better. Death is the only permanent in life.


7) Drama is stupid. Just know this, for you will encounter plenty of it! Many will try to drag you into their drama or involve you in things that will stress you beyond belief! But drama is something that is best left for the stage. 


8) There is someone out there who will love you for who you are and who you want to be. Granted, there will be plenty of people who come through and offer the same, but what I mean is the person who you eventually end up with. They're out there, getting to you as fast as they can. You may find people who can temporarily fill that void, but to be with a person who loves the you that you want to be.......there's nothing more that one can ask for! 


Someone who loves you when you're happy, sad, or in between.
Someone who handles your crazy when you try to regain sanity.
Someone who treats you with kindness and love, even when you feel you don't deserve it.
Someone who gives you the support in anything you want to do with your life, despite their own reservations about your dream.
Someone who notices those little quirks about you and loves them.
Someone who no matter what happens, wants nothing but your happiness in life, because that's what truly matters in life.  


9) Never lose sight of your dreams. When you're young, you think that the world will just give you all the things you want, but that's never the case. The world is sometimes cold and cruel, never bending to the way you hope it will. But while you get beaten down, never lose that hope that you're going to make it, because you eventually will. It may take more time than you thought and your path may have a few detours, but everything happens in their own time. 


10) Realize that the most important part of life is to never stop learning and growing. You don't need to be in school to keep expanding your knowledge.......you can discover new things without the use of a book or a classroom.


11) The whole world is not out to get you. While it may be difficult to give some people a chance, do try. Not everyone has malicious intentions with how they act towards you. That's not to say that everyone is with you (because there are douchebags who thrive on watching you suffer), but that even when you don't agree with how people act it doesn't mean that they don't do it without the best of intentions. 


12) Don't always settle for the status quo. If you compromise yourself then you have let yourself down. Keep reaching for what you believe is right, because sometimes, you'll win.


13) Life happens for a reason. You won't know why some people walk out of your life while others walk in. You won't understand why you don't get the opportunities that you deem are the most important ones to take. All you can do is take life in stride and know that when one thing doesn't go right, it only means that something better is on the horizon. 


14) Keep in touch with your family. They are the people who know you better than most. While you may feel that they can be unfair and out to get you, I promise that their intentions are nothing but honorable......even if you can't see that until you're older. 


15) Above all else, make sure to take care of yourself, because in the end, you are all you've got. Sure, there are people who love you and are there to support you, but at the end of the day, you're with yourself. People can come and go, but you remain. So be sure to not beat yourself up too much, but do keep that inner critic to keep you motivated!


16) Ultimately, the key to life is just to be happy (and don't be afraid to share that happiness!) As long as you can do that, you've figured out the most important lesson of all.


~Jenny Rockstar

this is the beginning of a beautiful relationship........

Relationships.

Such a beneficial part of life. You can't live without creating relationships with the people around you. To me, there are so many different kinds of relationships that people can have in their life. 

Some are romantic. 

Some are familial. 

Some are friendly. 

Some are business. 

Some are villainous. 

Some have no rhyme or reason......they just are.

But most importantly, in each relationship, something beautiful and/or beneficial comes out of it. And as I spent this past weekend (and many others) amongst several friends old and new, I thought about just how grateful I am to have some form of a relationship with all of them......which then led me to write this top ten list of my favorite relationships!

1) John Lennon & Paul McCartney:  As a seasoned Beatles fan, it should come as no surprise as to why this one is first on my list! I mean, let's face it: some of the greatest songs EVER came from this team alone! Eleanor Rigby? Mind-blowing. In My Life? A classic amongst college graduates. Love Me Do? Only their first big hit! While Ringo Starr and George Harrison also contributed a few precious gems of musical genius (Octopus' Garden/Something), Lennon and McCartney created the Beatles magic with hit after hit! 

2) Willow Rosenberg & Xander Harris: When I first started watched the TV show Buffy The Vampire Slayer, I remember the first glimpse into the friendship of Willow &  Xander.......and all I had kept wanting is to see them together. You watched Willow pine for her best friend, while he pined for Buffy. Sometimes it broke my heart watching Willow get hurt time and time again by Xander (even though I still secretly rooted for them!) Their relationship throughout the show may have changed drastically, even when they gained their own relationships and eventually damaged those relationships with their very own lip-lock moment. But despite the odds, they have always remained close to one another, especially when Willow was grieving Tara's death and planning to end the world......Xander was there to be with her in the end. 

3) Paul Simon & Art Garfunkel: Their music is the soundtrack to my life. Ever since I could remember, I have heard Simon & Garfunkel blast over the radio waves during various car trips, many a night in the local bar, and now on my iPod whenever I've managed to venture to the beach in the calmness of morning. Whether it be singing the chorus to "I Am A Rock" in the car with Matt or sharing the inside joke with my family about "Me & Julio Down By The Schoolyard," their collaborations remind me of those times in my life that I cherish the most. 

4) Finn Hudson & Rachel Berry: This has to be one of the newer relationships on this list, but I'm still very fascinated by it. Two people who obviously want one another, yet always seem to miss the mark when it comes to dating. First it was Finn being with Quinn that got in the way. And when Quinn was gone, Finn kinda screwed it up by breaking Rachel's heart when she thought they were dating. Then came Jesse St. James, along with Finn getting his v-card punched by Santana. And now? We don't even know what the next season of Glee will bring, despite the fact that we saw them finally cuddling up to each other in the season finale. I can't wait to find out how their love story continues!  

5) Sir Elton John & Bernie Taupin: For anyone not aware of this team, let me break it down for you.......without Bernie Taupin, Elton would NOT have had some of his greatest hits! Their collaborations created such classics as Your Song, Tiny Dancer, Rocket Man, I'm Still Standing, and Candle in the Wind (BOTH versions).......just to name a few! Both have worked with other collaborators, yet Elton's sound is mainly due to this team........30 albums worth.

6) Scarlett O'Hara & Rhett Butler: She hates him. He loves her. She's in love with a man she cannot have. He pursues her and gets her to marry him. She warms up to him a little, but not without resistance. Death of their daughter causes him to push her away. Passion ensues, but her rage and longing for the other man destroys them. She realizes while talking to the other man she loves him, but it is too late. He walks out on her. She is heartbroken, but convinces herself that she can win him back.......and she will. The dynamic of Scarlett and Rhett is fueled with such passion and drive that it is hard not to see how much love and compatibility truly exists between these characters. Scarlett originally starts off in love with Ashley, even while he is betrothed to Melanie. I love that even though she doesn't realize it, Rhett gets Scarlett better than she realizes.......and that scares her just a little. 

7) Paula Abdul & Simon Cowell: Ah, for any American Idol fan, this has to be the best pair on that show! I was beyond sad when Paula wasn't coming back for this past season's run of the show, because their dynamic is what made the whole show worthwhile! Sure, you have some great talent from across the country, but that's besides the point. Talent will always be coming and going on that stage, however, the playful banter of Paula & Simon always made me smile! Paula would give some sort of spaced-out comment and Simon would always make some sort of funny quip about it. Their banter is what made the chemistry of the show work the best. Not just the talent, but the way both of them always seemed to ruffle each other's feathers. 

8) Mick Jagger & Keith Richards: Although I'm not that big of a Rolling Stones fan, I would be remiss if I didn't mention this team. Let's just leave it at: they ROCK!

9) Brian Wilson & Tony Asher: While this team was limited to only one album, Pet Sounds, Wilson & Asher took the Beach Boys and their sound to a whole new level on this album. After many hits about surfing and girls graced the Beach Boys repertoire, Brian Wilson wanted to take Pet Sounds in a bit of a different direction. Enter Tony Asher, who tried to be the translator of Brian Wilson's genius, into this particular album. 

10) Clark Kent & Lex Luthor: After watching Smallville, I really came to enjoy the idea of how Superman and Lex Luthor came to hate one another. You find out that at first, they were friends.......and pretty good friends at that. Then came Lex's obsession with learning how he survived a car crash that should've killed him........and his descent into darkness. It's not like he didn't try to avoid the inevitability that he could become his father. Unfortunately, the need to know secrets destroyed any chance of their friendship developing even further, giving way to the enemy status. Just like Lex said on the show, their friendship would be the "stuff of legends"..........and he was right.


~Jenny Rockstar