After a rigorous day of cleaning and getting our backyard oasis in order, I needed a night alone with some music to calm the frustration that had settled in with our task. With outdoor work, there's always seems to be something that goes wrong. Whether it be that the nozzle on the hose is broken and it takes at least ten minutes to get it undone (before heading to Lowe's for a new one), with a little help from pliers and WD40. Or having to scrub layers upon layers of moss off the siding just to see some semblance of the original color. Or possibly all the furniture that required rinsing off all the spiders, whether they were dead or alive. (Yeah, that one probably scared me the most.)
But when it was all said and done, our end result was a beautiful backyard, complete with our table, umbrella, chairs, and firepit all ready to go! It was doing something that normally feels daunting to me, unknown territory. (Hey, I'm normally a laundry/cleaning/baking kind of woman.) But with that being said and done, I reflected back on a conversation with my new friend Holly and her recommendation of the HorrorPops.
For one thing, prior to listening, I do enjoy that they are a punk band, as I do truly have a love for punk music. Yet I have never quite gotten into the whole psychobilly/rockabilly style of music before. But today was a day of accomplishment and doing things I'm not normally accustomed to, so HorrorPops seemed quite fitting for the occasion. (Especially "Walk Like A Zombie", as I am going to Philadelphia Wizard World in about two weeks and fully intend on getting my fill of Walking Dead cast members!) And just like my friend TJ and his "Metallication", it was surprising to how good it was.
Sometimes we need to try to do those things we're not normally accustomed to. We need to break down our own walls and not be afraid to experiment with different things. For me, it's yard work and rockabilly. But the reward is always greater when you step outside of the comfort zone.
It could mean stronger bonds with those around you. And especially in my case today....a beautiful place to relax this summer.
~ Jenny Rockstar
6.04.2014
If it doesn't speak to you, what are you listening for?
While I live with him and know practically everything I need to know about him, Matt always seems to surprise me.
Whether it's with a story, or a look, a new nickname, or even musical perspective....to name a few. I could listen to him talk about anything that interests him all day long, because the story behind it all is what fascinates me.
Last night was no exception. After a somewhat trying day (filled with several good moments), we watched Pawn Shop Chronicles (because I told him he might like the premise - he did) and some wine/cocktails, I asked Matt what I've been asking everyone as of late: what album/song changed your life?
Now for those who are not aware, Matt is a huge Pink Floyd fan. Tack that on with Beatles, Beach Boys, Violent Femmes (we'll tackle this one on a later date), Lou Reed, Leonard Cohen, Tom Waits, Beck, etc. But Pink Floyd seems to embody something for him that most other artists don't do...avoid the topic of love and relationships. Love is a cliche topic in songs nowadays, so hearing music that doesn't shift the focus there is quite refreshing.
And with a renewed sense of vigor, Matt explained that while it was "Comfortably Numb" that initially inspired him to purchase The Wall, he then picked up his guitar and started to play for me the opening riff to "In The Flesh", the first song on The Wall (one of his all-time favorite albums). It was in this demonstration I was reminded of one of the several reasons why I fell in love with him: this child-like curiosity to find music that speaks to him.
We all seek the music that says the things we don't speak of. Each of us finds this comfort within words that have meaning. And words without meaning just seem meaningless, no?
I may never quite understand Matt completely (which makes being with him all the more fun - new things to learn about one another), I'm always pleasantly surprised to find he can find new ways to speak to my heart...especially through a shared love of music.
~ Jenny Rockstar
Whether it's with a story, or a look, a new nickname, or even musical perspective....to name a few. I could listen to him talk about anything that interests him all day long, because the story behind it all is what fascinates me.
Last night was no exception. After a somewhat trying day (filled with several good moments), we watched Pawn Shop Chronicles (because I told him he might like the premise - he did) and some wine/cocktails, I asked Matt what I've been asking everyone as of late: what album/song changed your life?
Now for those who are not aware, Matt is a huge Pink Floyd fan. Tack that on with Beatles, Beach Boys, Violent Femmes (we'll tackle this one on a later date), Lou Reed, Leonard Cohen, Tom Waits, Beck, etc. But Pink Floyd seems to embody something for him that most other artists don't do...avoid the topic of love and relationships. Love is a cliche topic in songs nowadays, so hearing music that doesn't shift the focus there is quite refreshing.
And with a renewed sense of vigor, Matt explained that while it was "Comfortably Numb" that initially inspired him to purchase The Wall, he then picked up his guitar and started to play for me the opening riff to "In The Flesh", the first song on The Wall (one of his all-time favorite albums). It was in this demonstration I was reminded of one of the several reasons why I fell in love with him: this child-like curiosity to find music that speaks to him.
We all seek the music that says the things we don't speak of. Each of us finds this comfort within words that have meaning. And words without meaning just seem meaningless, no?
I may never quite understand Matt completely (which makes being with him all the more fun - new things to learn about one another), I'm always pleasantly surprised to find he can find new ways to speak to my heart...especially through a shared love of music.
~ Jenny Rockstar
6.03.2014
The art of Metallica....
If I had to choose an artist that I could not listen to them for the rest of my life and be okay with that...it's Metallica.
For personal reasons and just because their music has never really appealed to me on any level. (Frankly, Lars Ulrich ticked me off with his rant about Napster when I was still a junior in high school - it's not my problem that not all music is reasonably priced and I need it!) I've tried with friends numerous times to gather decent suggestions and to try and understand how anyone could enjoy their music (no offense).
Last night, however, may have changed my perspective a bit. My friend TJ, after asking him nicely to help me with my project, gave me what I'd like to believe is a true gift - a peek into his music collection. And with that I got a glimpse into the Symphony & Metallica album, starting with "One" which I have to admit - it's pretty damn moving.
Taking a particular style of music and using another genre intertwined with the original one to create music? Genius. I could tell my reaction was being carefully monitored, in a really good way. I zoned into every lyric, carefully thought out pluck of the violin and delivery...I loved it and I want to listen to more, as much as possible. (You never know, this could lead to my first Metallica album purchase...wouldn't be the first time I surprised myself.)
It's enlightening when you give old "enemies" a chance...things that I would have never found myself enjoying, I now do. And that's the best part - allowing one's self to experience life...even the parts that don't particularly seem appealing. Maybe I won't start running out and trying new things all the time, but for now, I can relish in the realization that I continue to be open to the possibilities of diversity...
couldn't we all benefit from a lesson like that?
~Jenny Rockstar
P.S. - I recommend the Symphony & Metallica album, if I didn't make that clear. ;-)
For personal reasons and just because their music has never really appealed to me on any level. (Frankly, Lars Ulrich ticked me off with his rant about Napster when I was still a junior in high school - it's not my problem that not all music is reasonably priced and I need it!) I've tried with friends numerous times to gather decent suggestions and to try and understand how anyone could enjoy their music (no offense).
Last night, however, may have changed my perspective a bit. My friend TJ, after asking him nicely to help me with my project, gave me what I'd like to believe is a true gift - a peek into his music collection. And with that I got a glimpse into the Symphony & Metallica album, starting with "One" which I have to admit - it's pretty damn moving.
Taking a particular style of music and using another genre intertwined with the original one to create music? Genius. I could tell my reaction was being carefully monitored, in a really good way. I zoned into every lyric, carefully thought out pluck of the violin and delivery...I loved it and I want to listen to more, as much as possible. (You never know, this could lead to my first Metallica album purchase...wouldn't be the first time I surprised myself.)
It's enlightening when you give old "enemies" a chance...things that I would have never found myself enjoying, I now do. And that's the best part - allowing one's self to experience life...even the parts that don't particularly seem appealing. Maybe I won't start running out and trying new things all the time, but for now, I can relish in the realization that I continue to be open to the possibilities of diversity...
couldn't we all benefit from a lesson like that?
~Jenny Rockstar
P.S. - I recommend the Symphony & Metallica album, if I didn't make that clear. ;-)
6.02.2014
a voice to stand out....
At work, I find I am most relaxed when my Pandora station is playing.
Granted, it's not all classical and calming music....in fact, I tend to crave grunge/alternative/punk when I'm deep into organizing paperwork and drafting correspondence. Something about the angsty lyrics soothes me, keeps the balance in my life. It's weird, I know, but in my work environment, I need that form of control to feel normal.
I think it's good to achieve that balance with music. Sometimes I crave my jazz stations and a nice glass of red wine, other times I need the loudest, most obnoxious rock that one can think of to achieve that sense of calm. And other days, I just want something in-between the two.
It's strange thinking about how far I've come from music. I mean, I started with my parents and their collection of music. All the doo-wop, oldies, classic rock....even my grandparents contributed their love of crooners and big band standards to my collection. Yet, I am always growing and improving my collection, giving music a chance in every form. (Granted, I do draw the line at a few artists, simply because....well...their music is just not appealing.) But I attempt to give everyone a chance to express their artistry in my world and respect those who work hard at their craft, because it's their voice.
All of us have a voice that we wish the world to hear...and mine is filled with music (and lots of recipes and daily musings.)
Jenn's Alternative Playlist:
1) The Empty Page - Sonic Youth
2) Karma Police - Radiohead
3) Disarm - Smashing Pumpkins
4) Everlong - Foo Fighters
5) Someday - The Strokes
6) In Between Days - The Cure
~ Jenny Rockstar
Granted, it's not all classical and calming music....in fact, I tend to crave grunge/alternative/punk when I'm deep into organizing paperwork and drafting correspondence. Something about the angsty lyrics soothes me, keeps the balance in my life. It's weird, I know, but in my work environment, I need that form of control to feel normal.
I think it's good to achieve that balance with music. Sometimes I crave my jazz stations and a nice glass of red wine, other times I need the loudest, most obnoxious rock that one can think of to achieve that sense of calm. And other days, I just want something in-between the two.
It's strange thinking about how far I've come from music. I mean, I started with my parents and their collection of music. All the doo-wop, oldies, classic rock....even my grandparents contributed their love of crooners and big band standards to my collection. Yet, I am always growing and improving my collection, giving music a chance in every form. (Granted, I do draw the line at a few artists, simply because....well...their music is just not appealing.) But I attempt to give everyone a chance to express their artistry in my world and respect those who work hard at their craft, because it's their voice.
All of us have a voice that we wish the world to hear...and mine is filled with music (and lots of recipes and daily musings.)
Jenn's Alternative Playlist:
1) The Empty Page - Sonic Youth
2) Karma Police - Radiohead
3) Disarm - Smashing Pumpkins
4) Everlong - Foo Fighters
5) Someday - The Strokes
6) In Between Days - The Cure
~ Jenny Rockstar
6.01.2014
the spice of life...
I partially have Matt to thank for my acquired cooking skills...and I surprise him sometimes with just how far I have come!
Today, I decided to challenge myself with a new recipe: potato salad. Sounds fairly easy and straightforward, yes, but when it's the first time you make something, there are bound to be a few hiccups.
Like, for example, being able to cut and cook the potatoes to the proper texture - tender yet still retaining their shape. Apparently, that's something that is a little difficult to achieve, but delicious when executed properly. And then of course, you cannot forget the dressing. While there was a recipe I found with mayo, vinegar, salt, pepper, and sugar...I decided to try spicing it up a bit with some Dijon mustard and paprika as well. Needless to say, my eyes rolled into the back of my head when I tried my concoction. (And Matt said it was the best potato salad he had ever tasted...apparently I did something right!)
Life is like a recipe - you're given the basic ingredients to make it work, but sometimes you need to throw your own spices and flair into the mixture. And when something doesn't work, you adjust. It's great that in the past six years, Matt and I have made our adjustments and continue to find the right "mix" for our relationship. I hope we never stop trying to work towards that "perfect recipe", because after all...
variety is the spice of life!
~Jenny Rockstar
Today, I decided to challenge myself with a new recipe: potato salad. Sounds fairly easy and straightforward, yes, but when it's the first time you make something, there are bound to be a few hiccups.
Like, for example, being able to cut and cook the potatoes to the proper texture - tender yet still retaining their shape. Apparently, that's something that is a little difficult to achieve, but delicious when executed properly. And then of course, you cannot forget the dressing. While there was a recipe I found with mayo, vinegar, salt, pepper, and sugar...I decided to try spicing it up a bit with some Dijon mustard and paprika as well. Needless to say, my eyes rolled into the back of my head when I tried my concoction. (And Matt said it was the best potato salad he had ever tasted...apparently I did something right!)
Life is like a recipe - you're given the basic ingredients to make it work, but sometimes you need to throw your own spices and flair into the mixture. And when something doesn't work, you adjust. It's great that in the past six years, Matt and I have made our adjustments and continue to find the right "mix" for our relationship. I hope we never stop trying to work towards that "perfect recipe", because after all...
variety is the spice of life!
~Jenny Rockstar
I'll make the most of it, I'm an extraordinary machine...
I'm not normally a morning person, except when it comes to Sundays.
It's then while Matt remains asleep after a late show that I find myself just breathing the day in. So many of us relish in our Fridays and Saturdays, but it's Sunday that I enjoy as a day of reflection and perspective.
While it's quiet in the house. With the birds happily chirping away in celebration of the beautiful, sunny weather. As I lounge in my pajamas, headphones perfectly in place (and on low for a change, as I enjoy the quieter moments too). And in this moment I am happy, as everything is in its place and I can clear the remaining clutter of the week before the next bout of craziness begins.
I've been delving back into Fiona Apple as of late...but I haven't been sad. Normally, I associate the bitter, reality-driven songstress with the hardships in my life. But not today. For now, I'm ready to put those skeletons away and face the fear. I'm tired of feeling hurt or scarred. My scars will always be there, as some are not externally visible...but that's alright with me. I feel each one and know that if it wasn't for those scars, the beautiful moments may not mean as much.
Her music is beautiful, haunting at times, but always has this message that I just want to stitch into my heart. She knows me, it seems, almost as well as everyone else in life.
There's a lyric that has resonated with me for several years: be kind to me, or treat me mean, I'll make the most of it, I'm an extraordinary machine.
I am extraordinary, and strong, and resilient, yet tender, sensitive, and warm all the same. That realization is slightly jarring, but gives me hope that I will never have to change so much that I lose my sense of self. I refuse to let the world harden me too much, or any one person cause a sense of "walls" needing to be built. I'll be protective against those who seek to destroy me, but I won't close off the world. I'm done with that. What does closing one's self off to everyone else accomplish? Nothing.
It's exhausting...and I'm tired of working so hard to make sure I do things like everyone else.
Why do I need to change?
Why do I have to fit this mold?
It's stupid.
Isn't individuality prized anymore?
Frankly, I'm just done with being aware of whether others like me or not. I was fine being myself without others accepting of it for a long time. (Luckily, I am now surrounded by people who appreciate me for who I am.) There's no need to make everyone like me. I like myself. And those in my life like me too.
For those yet to come, just be you, let me be me, and we'll be good.
And trust me, if it's good...then that's beautiful.
Jenn's Fiona Playlist:
1) Extraordinary Machine - Fiona Apple
2) Paper Bag - Fiona Apple
3) O Sailor - Fiona Apple
4) Better Version of Me - Fiona Apple
5) Valentine - Fiona Apple
6) Across The Universe - Fiona Apple Version
7) Never Is A Promise - Fiona Apple
8) Carrion - Fiona Apple
9) Parting Gift - Fiona Apple
10) Slow Like Honey - Fiona Apple
~ Jenny Rockstar
It's then while Matt remains asleep after a late show that I find myself just breathing the day in. So many of us relish in our Fridays and Saturdays, but it's Sunday that I enjoy as a day of reflection and perspective.
While it's quiet in the house. With the birds happily chirping away in celebration of the beautiful, sunny weather. As I lounge in my pajamas, headphones perfectly in place (and on low for a change, as I enjoy the quieter moments too). And in this moment I am happy, as everything is in its place and I can clear the remaining clutter of the week before the next bout of craziness begins.
I've been delving back into Fiona Apple as of late...but I haven't been sad. Normally, I associate the bitter, reality-driven songstress with the hardships in my life. But not today. For now, I'm ready to put those skeletons away and face the fear. I'm tired of feeling hurt or scarred. My scars will always be there, as some are not externally visible...but that's alright with me. I feel each one and know that if it wasn't for those scars, the beautiful moments may not mean as much.
Her music is beautiful, haunting at times, but always has this message that I just want to stitch into my heart. She knows me, it seems, almost as well as everyone else in life.
There's a lyric that has resonated with me for several years: be kind to me, or treat me mean, I'll make the most of it, I'm an extraordinary machine.
I am extraordinary, and strong, and resilient, yet tender, sensitive, and warm all the same. That realization is slightly jarring, but gives me hope that I will never have to change so much that I lose my sense of self. I refuse to let the world harden me too much, or any one person cause a sense of "walls" needing to be built. I'll be protective against those who seek to destroy me, but I won't close off the world. I'm done with that. What does closing one's self off to everyone else accomplish? Nothing.
It's exhausting...and I'm tired of working so hard to make sure I do things like everyone else.
Why do I need to change?
Why do I have to fit this mold?
It's stupid.
Isn't individuality prized anymore?
Frankly, I'm just done with being aware of whether others like me or not. I was fine being myself without others accepting of it for a long time. (Luckily, I am now surrounded by people who appreciate me for who I am.) There's no need to make everyone like me. I like myself. And those in my life like me too.
For those yet to come, just be you, let me be me, and we'll be good.
And trust me, if it's good...then that's beautiful.
Jenn's Fiona Playlist:
1) Extraordinary Machine - Fiona Apple
2) Paper Bag - Fiona Apple
3) O Sailor - Fiona Apple
4) Better Version of Me - Fiona Apple
5) Valentine - Fiona Apple
6) Across The Universe - Fiona Apple Version
7) Never Is A Promise - Fiona Apple
8) Carrion - Fiona Apple
9) Parting Gift - Fiona Apple
10) Slow Like Honey - Fiona Apple
~ Jenny Rockstar
5.31.2014
pushing the musical boundary....
As difficult as it may be, I always seek ways to go outside of my comfort zone.
Because it takes challenges to grow...and you can't grow if you don't push yourself.
And I think this summer, I'm going to push myself even further.
I want to continue the music project I had originally started a few years back...and take it up a notch. I still have all my original notes and suggestions. (And you had better believe I delved into that list like a kid on Christmas...listening to every single note and harmony with rapt attention.)
This time, I am sure I am going to have a whole new group of music suggestions, in part thanks to all of the new friends and interesting music-minded individuals I have had the pleasure of getting to know.
I can't quite explain the pleasure that I derive from music. It's a high unlike any other. Granted, I feel the same rush when I hold my Canon Rebel in my hands or a pen over a fresh sheet of paper. But music has its own high. It gives me the strength to carry on (when I feel I can't) and the understanding that I need to take a breather (when I need to recharge). That it's okay to smile and cry from time to time.
And getting to write about this experience? Even better.
So what do you listen to?
What is it that gets your blood pumping?
(Or can turn you into a crying mess with the drop of a single note?)
What song or album changed your life?
Or what in your collection do you keep to yourself, because you're sure that others would not quite understand how that music made it into your standard stock of albums?
I want to know about it, listen to it, and understand more about the people around me. Because there are so many who invest their time into interviews or other personal interests to assume that an individual's personality is based on favorite food or color. Personally, I feel that it's through music that you can learn so much more about a person. Music is a universal language that we all speak and relate to.
And I want to take this onto a larger level, beyond just my normal group of friends and acquaintances. I want to get all the suggestions I can and gain a deep sense of understanding of people.
More importantly, I want to continue to seek better understanding of myself.
Jenn's Self-Understanding Playlist:
1) Tighten Up - The Black Keys
2) All Things Must Pass - George Harrison
3) Thank You - Led Zeppelin
4) For Whom The Bell Tolls - Metallica
5) Limp - Fiona Apple
~ Jenny Rockstar
Because it takes challenges to grow...and you can't grow if you don't push yourself.
And I think this summer, I'm going to push myself even further.
I want to continue the music project I had originally started a few years back...and take it up a notch. I still have all my original notes and suggestions. (And you had better believe I delved into that list like a kid on Christmas...listening to every single note and harmony with rapt attention.)
This time, I am sure I am going to have a whole new group of music suggestions, in part thanks to all of the new friends and interesting music-minded individuals I have had the pleasure of getting to know.
I can't quite explain the pleasure that I derive from music. It's a high unlike any other. Granted, I feel the same rush when I hold my Canon Rebel in my hands or a pen over a fresh sheet of paper. But music has its own high. It gives me the strength to carry on (when I feel I can't) and the understanding that I need to take a breather (when I need to recharge). That it's okay to smile and cry from time to time.
And getting to write about this experience? Even better.
So what do you listen to?
What is it that gets your blood pumping?
(Or can turn you into a crying mess with the drop of a single note?)
What song or album changed your life?
Or what in your collection do you keep to yourself, because you're sure that others would not quite understand how that music made it into your standard stock of albums?
I want to know about it, listen to it, and understand more about the people around me. Because there are so many who invest their time into interviews or other personal interests to assume that an individual's personality is based on favorite food or color. Personally, I feel that it's through music that you can learn so much more about a person. Music is a universal language that we all speak and relate to.
And I want to take this onto a larger level, beyond just my normal group of friends and acquaintances. I want to get all the suggestions I can and gain a deep sense of understanding of people.
More importantly, I want to continue to seek better understanding of myself.
Jenn's Self-Understanding Playlist:
1) Tighten Up - The Black Keys
2) All Things Must Pass - George Harrison
3) Thank You - Led Zeppelin
4) For Whom The Bell Tolls - Metallica
5) Limp - Fiona Apple
~ Jenny Rockstar
5.27.2014
weathering the storm...
I love when it storms...
the way that the wind rustles the trees, that electric feeling in the air that crackles with a sense of purpose, those few scattered (yet perfectly executed) raindrops that land perfectly on my bare skin.
My body goes on high alert, the adrenaline coursing and pushing me to coax the storm out to play. To get the sky rumbling, the clouds looming ominously overhead, to run through the pouring rain.
Storms are perfect in every which way, especially when I feel that inner storm in life. It feels like this great wonder of nature understands that I need an outlet, a way to feel in control of everything. And with inclement weather on the horizon, I relish in it.
Somehow, it's in that chaos that I find the clarity. Because when you're put up against something that's as scattered and rough as you feel in that moment, you can't help but be humbled. It's as though nature just gets you without even trying. That you need to wash away the grime, make your soul feel clean again.
We all weather the storms of life, some more turbulent and tumultuous than others. But we do it, because we need to push forward. We need to breath, stop waiting for the rain to subside, and just stand in the chaos and face it head on.
I can't wait to see what happens next....bring it on.
Jenn's Stormy Playlist:
1) Roxanne - The Police
2) Gigantic - The Pixies
3) Don't Stop Believing - Journey
4) Won't Back Down - Tom Petty
5) Cannonball - The Breeders
6) Pennyroyal Tea - Nirvana
~ Jenny Rockstar
the way that the wind rustles the trees, that electric feeling in the air that crackles with a sense of purpose, those few scattered (yet perfectly executed) raindrops that land perfectly on my bare skin.
My body goes on high alert, the adrenaline coursing and pushing me to coax the storm out to play. To get the sky rumbling, the clouds looming ominously overhead, to run through the pouring rain.
Storms are perfect in every which way, especially when I feel that inner storm in life. It feels like this great wonder of nature understands that I need an outlet, a way to feel in control of everything. And with inclement weather on the horizon, I relish in it.
Somehow, it's in that chaos that I find the clarity. Because when you're put up against something that's as scattered and rough as you feel in that moment, you can't help but be humbled. It's as though nature just gets you without even trying. That you need to wash away the grime, make your soul feel clean again.
We all weather the storms of life, some more turbulent and tumultuous than others. But we do it, because we need to push forward. We need to breath, stop waiting for the rain to subside, and just stand in the chaos and face it head on.
I can't wait to see what happens next....bring it on.
Jenn's Stormy Playlist:
1) Roxanne - The Police
2) Gigantic - The Pixies
3) Don't Stop Believing - Journey
4) Won't Back Down - Tom Petty
5) Cannonball - The Breeders
6) Pennyroyal Tea - Nirvana
~ Jenny Rockstar
5.26.2014
sometimes, you just need to look up at the stars....
This past weekend was filled with everything I could ever hope for in a holiday weekend....
good friends...great food...amazing music...and memories that will keep with me for the rest of my life.
It's a funny thing how life works out, how when everything used to seem chaotic and unsure, all it takes is finding those moments that bring you back to the present and help you appreciate everything.
I've been trying more and more lately to have appreciation for life. To live in that moment and write everything I'm feeling as much as possible. And when I can't write it down, to file it all away to memory as much as possible.
Like those moments when after we get home from a show (on a clear night), I have this urge to just look up at the stars, twinkling ever so diligently and grounding me in the sheer fact that there is a world of opportunity and memories ahead of me. That even if it was a bad night, it can't be that bad when the world can have moments of beauty like this.
I'm not one to march to the beat of other people's drums. I have my own thoughts, my own interests, and my own way of living.
I'm the one who wants to go to Comic Con or the Renaissance Faire for a bachelorette party instead of a strip club. (And both places better be ready for me this summer, because I'm ready to get my nerdiness on!)
I'm the one who finds solace in discovering music that I have never heard before, whether it be older or something that just came out. (And trust me, I can make some serious music aficionados look like amateurs with all of the stuff I have in my collection.)
I'm the one who wears their heart on their sleeve and doesn't let life's issues drag me down, I just keep having the big, wild heart and pursuit of happiness.
I'm the one who will bake cookies at 4:00 am and not think twice about how late it is, only that my guests are going to love them.
I'm the one who drums my fingers over every surface imaginable, because I can't seem to get the rhythm out of my head...always a song.
I'm the one that people tend to overlook, but I'm still me and I don't seek the approval.
I can brew my own iced tea, bake my own bread, rock out to the Sex Pistols like it's my job.
I wear knee socks and don't care if people think of it as a perversion...because they keep my legs warm and they're comfy as hell!
I get excited over a band favoriting a tweet or responding to my post to them, because I'm a music nerd like that.
I wear my headphones practically anywhere I can, even in a dingy bar waiting for Matt to go on to perform, just to satisfy my musical urge.
Writing comes naturally, and even in the oddest of places, I can bury my face in a notebook, trying to get down everything thought and feeling before I'm consumed by them.
I keep a notebook of questions I would ask my favorite celebrities/great minds/entertainers/people if given the opportunity to do so. (And even had other people ask my questions for me to those very people...and hear what a great question it was to ask!)
I even tend to think about the conversations I would have with those said people in that notebook, because I find everyone interesting, even those who are interviewed and have given their life story a million times over. (There will always be something new to uncover that will make them more interesting.)
Sometimes I itch to escape for a day away from life with my camera and a sense of adventure...and when I do it is the biggest rush.
I appreciate life, in all its ugliness, in all its darkest forms, and especially in its beauty.
And especially now, as today is a day to honor those who have fallen to protect the freedoms that allow me to be who I am now....I show appreciation by getting lost in another great movie soundtrack, writing, and breathing in the awesomeness that is my life.
I hope you can too.
Jenn's Appreciation Playlist (with a punk flair!):
1) Life During Wartime - The Talking Heads
2) Careful - Television
3) I'm Your Man - Richard Hell, The Voltoids
4) I Can't Stand It - The Velvet Underground
5) Psychotic Reaction - Take Five
6) All For The Love of Rock n' Roll - Tuff Darts
~ Jenny Rockstar
good friends...great food...amazing music...and memories that will keep with me for the rest of my life.
It's a funny thing how life works out, how when everything used to seem chaotic and unsure, all it takes is finding those moments that bring you back to the present and help you appreciate everything.
I've been trying more and more lately to have appreciation for life. To live in that moment and write everything I'm feeling as much as possible. And when I can't write it down, to file it all away to memory as much as possible.
Like those moments when after we get home from a show (on a clear night), I have this urge to just look up at the stars, twinkling ever so diligently and grounding me in the sheer fact that there is a world of opportunity and memories ahead of me. That even if it was a bad night, it can't be that bad when the world can have moments of beauty like this.
I'm not one to march to the beat of other people's drums. I have my own thoughts, my own interests, and my own way of living.
I'm the one who wants to go to Comic Con or the Renaissance Faire for a bachelorette party instead of a strip club. (And both places better be ready for me this summer, because I'm ready to get my nerdiness on!)
I'm the one who finds solace in discovering music that I have never heard before, whether it be older or something that just came out. (And trust me, I can make some serious music aficionados look like amateurs with all of the stuff I have in my collection.)
I'm the one who wears their heart on their sleeve and doesn't let life's issues drag me down, I just keep having the big, wild heart and pursuit of happiness.
I'm the one who will bake cookies at 4:00 am and not think twice about how late it is, only that my guests are going to love them.
I'm the one who drums my fingers over every surface imaginable, because I can't seem to get the rhythm out of my head...always a song.
I'm the one that people tend to overlook, but I'm still me and I don't seek the approval.
I can brew my own iced tea, bake my own bread, rock out to the Sex Pistols like it's my job.
I wear knee socks and don't care if people think of it as a perversion...because they keep my legs warm and they're comfy as hell!
I get excited over a band favoriting a tweet or responding to my post to them, because I'm a music nerd like that.
I wear my headphones practically anywhere I can, even in a dingy bar waiting for Matt to go on to perform, just to satisfy my musical urge.
Writing comes naturally, and even in the oddest of places, I can bury my face in a notebook, trying to get down everything thought and feeling before I'm consumed by them.
I keep a notebook of questions I would ask my favorite celebrities/great minds/entertainers/people if given the opportunity to do so. (And even had other people ask my questions for me to those very people...and hear what a great question it was to ask!)
I even tend to think about the conversations I would have with those said people in that notebook, because I find everyone interesting, even those who are interviewed and have given their life story a million times over. (There will always be something new to uncover that will make them more interesting.)
Sometimes I itch to escape for a day away from life with my camera and a sense of adventure...and when I do it is the biggest rush.
I appreciate life, in all its ugliness, in all its darkest forms, and especially in its beauty.
And especially now, as today is a day to honor those who have fallen to protect the freedoms that allow me to be who I am now....I show appreciation by getting lost in another great movie soundtrack, writing, and breathing in the awesomeness that is my life.
I hope you can too.
Jenn's Appreciation Playlist (with a punk flair!):
1) Life During Wartime - The Talking Heads
2) Careful - Television
3) I'm Your Man - Richard Hell, The Voltoids
4) I Can't Stand It - The Velvet Underground
5) Psychotic Reaction - Take Five
6) All For The Love of Rock n' Roll - Tuff Darts
~ Jenny Rockstar
5.24.2014
a one-way ticket to love...
As the wedding draws nearer and nearer, I can't help but just get so excited about the prospect of marrying Matt.
Even before we started on the path to engagement and marriage, it was obvious to pretty much everyone around us that Matt and I were inevitably going to be together forever. And even in the beginning of our relationship, I think I knew (even if I fought that feeling tooth and nail).
Matt, when we first started hanging out and dating, was a breath of fresh air. After my previous relationship ended, I felt very broken...and unsure of what my future held. I thought that there wasn't anything out there for me. It was lonely, but I forged ahead in life as strong as I could. I was tired of trying to work for a relationship where it felt like I was trying to save the "sinking ship". Matt listened to me talk about my prior relationship, voicing my fears and thoughts as I worked on healing myself. He didn't judge, he didn't push me away, and frankly, it didn't bother him as much if it meant that he got to spend time with me.
Little by little, Matt chipped away at my defenses that I had so carefully built against letting people in. All I wanted was to just meet someone new and get to know them, nothing super serious or complicated, try a path very different from the one I had originally started on. I kept telling my friends that I was just having fun for once in my life and that I didn't believe anything was going to go further than this...
and I was soooooo wrong. It's a funny thing, the paths that we choose to take. My initial path would have taken me out of NJ, away from everyone I loved and cared about...and I would have been so lonely. Sure, I could make new friends, but it doesn't mean much when you're always arguing with your spouse and indirectly and naively devising new ways to make each other miserable.
If I had listened to my friends, I would have seen the signs of falling in love sooner. The way I looked forward to our nightly conversations. The sleepovers with takeout and television. The sing-a-longs full of rich harmonies. The cuddling and affection that erased all bad days and made good ones better. The way Matt's eyes found mine in the room...and I could feel everyone else fade away.
I can't give all the credit to Matt. While yes, all of these things happened while with him and he made me want to be better, I wanted to be better for myself. I worked hard to pursue my life with passion and enthusiasm, to allow the pieces I hid away for so long to come back to the surface. I branched out, met new people as myself and stopped being so concerned about trying to fit it. If I was me and people liked me, that was the greatest reward.
So in a little over four months, I get to intertwine my path even further with Matt. And continue to live my life for me, but also for him. I'm sure the broken past me can feel confident in knowing that nothing is final....life will always find a way to get better.
Especially when that new path leads to love that changes your life.
Jenn's "New Path" Playlist:
1) How About You? - Judy Garland
2) Me and My Arrow - Harry Nilsson
3) Smart Girls - Weezer
4) To Be Young - Two Wounded Birds
5) Human Behavior - Bjork
~Jenny Rockstar
Even before we started on the path to engagement and marriage, it was obvious to pretty much everyone around us that Matt and I were inevitably going to be together forever. And even in the beginning of our relationship, I think I knew (even if I fought that feeling tooth and nail).
Matt, when we first started hanging out and dating, was a breath of fresh air. After my previous relationship ended, I felt very broken...and unsure of what my future held. I thought that there wasn't anything out there for me. It was lonely, but I forged ahead in life as strong as I could. I was tired of trying to work for a relationship where it felt like I was trying to save the "sinking ship". Matt listened to me talk about my prior relationship, voicing my fears and thoughts as I worked on healing myself. He didn't judge, he didn't push me away, and frankly, it didn't bother him as much if it meant that he got to spend time with me.
Little by little, Matt chipped away at my defenses that I had so carefully built against letting people in. All I wanted was to just meet someone new and get to know them, nothing super serious or complicated, try a path very different from the one I had originally started on. I kept telling my friends that I was just having fun for once in my life and that I didn't believe anything was going to go further than this...
and I was soooooo wrong. It's a funny thing, the paths that we choose to take. My initial path would have taken me out of NJ, away from everyone I loved and cared about...and I would have been so lonely. Sure, I could make new friends, but it doesn't mean much when you're always arguing with your spouse and indirectly and naively devising new ways to make each other miserable.
If I had listened to my friends, I would have seen the signs of falling in love sooner. The way I looked forward to our nightly conversations. The sleepovers with takeout and television. The sing-a-longs full of rich harmonies. The cuddling and affection that erased all bad days and made good ones better. The way Matt's eyes found mine in the room...and I could feel everyone else fade away.
I can't give all the credit to Matt. While yes, all of these things happened while with him and he made me want to be better, I wanted to be better for myself. I worked hard to pursue my life with passion and enthusiasm, to allow the pieces I hid away for so long to come back to the surface. I branched out, met new people as myself and stopped being so concerned about trying to fit it. If I was me and people liked me, that was the greatest reward.
So in a little over four months, I get to intertwine my path even further with Matt. And continue to live my life for me, but also for him. I'm sure the broken past me can feel confident in knowing that nothing is final....life will always find a way to get better.
Especially when that new path leads to love that changes your life.
Jenn's "New Path" Playlist:
1) How About You? - Judy Garland
2) Me and My Arrow - Harry Nilsson
3) Smart Girls - Weezer
4) To Be Young - Two Wounded Birds
5) Human Behavior - Bjork
~Jenny Rockstar
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