This morning, as I opened my five million emails that I received while sleeping, I came across a response from a friend. (Well, maybe not five million, but you get the idea.) He recently shared his joys and fears about realizing his true passion in life, and how it will affect him and his family. While we have not talked in a very long time, I wrote him back, proud that despite what changes this passion would bring, that he needs to be happy and follow his heart. His response to me was a quote....one that reminded me that a lot of work goes into what you love before you reap any benefits. Needless to say, it got me thinking.
When I was in college, I thought that I'd have it all right after graduation. The perfect job, the perfect career, jet-setting to interview all the big bands that I have dreamed of interviewing. I wanted to be the next Rob Sheffield or Lester Bangs....but life doesn't work like that. Instead, I feel like I watched myself stray farther and farther away from those things I loved and into a life that was nothing like I had dreamed. Yet I still bought new music, immersed myself in songs and melodies that provided my scattered brain some solace.
At 28, I still struggle to reach that dream career that I've always wanted....but I'm not afraid to go for it anymore. I want it all. I plan on spending more time with those things I love so much, writing more columns, interviewing more interesting music personalities, and giving myself a chance to achieve my ultimate dream of being a music journalist.
So for now, I sign up for another music site and continue to immerse my ears in sweet, unknown melodies, pushing hard and dreaming for the moment I make it to the top. Anything is possible, it's just the journey that I need to focus on. I'm ready.
With that said, here's a fun little playlist for today....I'm feeling inspired with all of the old and new music out there. And to my friend: thank you for the reminder.
Jenn's Inspirational Playlist:
1) Somebody That I Used To Know - Gotye
2) Into The Mystic - Van Morrison
3) She's Like A Rainbow - The Rolling Stones
4) Blitzkrieg Bop - The Ramones
5) Shoreline - Deas Veil
6) Welcome Home - The O.C. Supertones
7) Number Four - Twothirtyeight
8) Middle of the Night - Sherwood
9) Umbrellas - Sleeping at Last
10) Lake Michigan - Rogue Wave
I'm going for it....are you?
~ Jenny Rockstar
I've been thinking a lot lately about perception. To one person, I may seem like the nicest person they have ever met and to another....I'm the devil incarnate. I appear super intelligent to one and a complete idiot (in their opinion) to another. Another could think I'm super beautiful and yet someone else could look at me like I'm the proverbial 'ugly duckling' of the group.
Perception is important to many people and while it has mattered to me in certain respects, overly I don't care. I am who I am and if that's not enough, then you don't need to be in my life. I'm just tired of trying to please everyone when in the end, I only need to be true to myself.
It's just exhausting at times, you know? Trying to just be who I want to be with a world of people who for some reason or another feel the need to rip me apart for no reason; for people who think that I'm not worth understanding or make fun of me behind my back with their other friends. Is it really so necessary to focus on me when there are so many other interesting things happening in the world?
I'd rather focus on writing about everything I see and immersing my ears in all the music out there. Or maybe just spending time with Matt and taking lots of beautiful pictures to share with friends. Then again, maybe I'd like to take a random road-trip to some place different and create new memories. But I don't need to feel like crap for not being like everyone else. I march to the beat of my own drum and if there's a problem with that, then obviously I must be doing something right to make others jealous of my happiness.
And now back to my regularly scheduled music listening....