Coming home....


I've been contemplating that word a lot as of late, especially since Matt and I have finally moved out of our winter rental on the beach and into a year-round house. For many, home is just a place where you go at the end of the day, rather than a frame of mind. Four walls, the necessary rooms, and a place to put all of your stuff. But not for me. Home, to me, has become something more than just a place....it has become a frame of mind.

Throughout my life (so far), I have had quite a few places that I have lived. Some more temporary than others, but each with their own flair.

In childhood, home was always the place I could return to at the end of the day. True, there were rules and chores and consequences for breaking rules, but I was always welcome there. Even during my college years, I could always return home and feel at ease. But of course, as it always goes, you outgrow your childhood home.

When my friend and I moved into our own place, it was heaven. No more curfews, no more rules, no more responsibility to anyone but ourselves (and our landlord). If we wanted to have a get-together at our house, we could plan one without permission. Walking in the door at 4 am was no issue either. And even if I felt the need to lounge in my underwear, I could do so without much fuss....and within reason. When I was 22 years old, the notion of home was a place where I could do anything I wanted to do, not really feeling consequences for any of my actions. By 24, however, home became more of a place where I could sort out my life.

I will never have any regrets moving out of Northern New Jersey. In fact, while the job situation down here may not be as plentiful as closer to Manhattan, getting away from all of the painful memories that I had endured prior to this move was much needed. I desired a place to clear my head, a place where I could still be who I needed to be and do everything necessary to figure out my life. And getting the chance to live with Matt? Perfect. I know a few of my friends didn't agree with my decision to live with him so soon, but I made the right choice for me.

By 25, Matt and I had agreed that it was time for us to move into a place of our own. And now home became a place that I could share with someone else, a place where Matt & I could test and work on our relationship....another decision I was proud to make. Granted, it was only a winter rental, which are popular with places near the beach, but I enjoyed the solitude of walking in the surf in the off-season. Hearing the waves crash into the surf from my front door was soothing, in more ways than most can imagine. And for two years, with at least one temporary summer move for 6 weeks, our beach haven gave us the time to figure out the next step.

Which brings me to now, 27 years old, and we have finally found a year-round home. So many different definitions of the word, but I think I get it now. Home isn't necessarily just a place, it's who you're with, your own level of comfort, your life. It's all of those definitions I came to know and yet none of them. It's the existence you create in the world....and I'm proud that in my life, I found home.

As a special treat from our moving endeavors, here are some of the top songs that I can include in my moving playlist:

Jenn's Moving Playlist:

1) Two of Us - The Beatles
2) The Cave - Mumford & Sons
3) Haunting - Bonnie Dune
4) So Caught Up In You - 38 Special
5) Hello - Martin Solveig
6) Land-Locked Blues - Bright Eyes
7) Settle Ancient Mind - Jupiter Sunrise
8) Lifestyles of the Rich & Famous - Good Charlotte
9) Memory (Acoustic) - Sugarcult
10) Home - Michael Buble

~Jenny Rockstar

No comments:

Post a Comment