Last week, as I was going through my Facebook feed, I took notice to a post that my friend Jina posted from John Mayer's blog. When I clicked on it, he discussed the things he would tell his younger self if he had the chance to do so.
Now, while I know that I need to live my life with no regrets and that I can't change what has happened, only how I look at it, if I ever had the chance to talk to a 16 year-old version of myself, I'd have plenty to say!
I spend so much time making music and celeb lists for fun, but I wanted to make a list of things I'd say to my younger self if I ever had the chance to talk to her:
1) What upsets you now will be NOTHING compared to the trials ahead. Dances, school papers, having a date on a Saturday night.......it's not as important as when you graduate from college and make it out into the real world. Having difficulty in choosing what outfit to wear when hanging out with friends will be a blip on the radar next to a job, paying bills, and taking care of yourself. And what happens when you have to worry about car expenses, how much toilet paper you have left, or whether or not you can afford certain necessities at the grocery store? The real world will be brutal and life will kick you in the ass, so just understand that the little trivial moments right now will hold no bearing on what lies ahead.
2) Love exists, even if it doesn't feel like it will be happening anytime soon. When you eventually date, there will be pain and heartache and it will feel like it's the end of the world. But it's not. The pain is merely a reminder that you have a heart and that you are feeling emotion.......even when you wish the pain would go away. Sometimes love fades and you have to make the hardest decisions when choosing what is right for you, but it's worth it in the end. Believe me, having your heart broken two months before your wedding really puts life into perspective.......and once you're ready, there will be someone who helps you forget what this felt like.
3) Popularity will become irrelevant with age. When you're younger, having as many friends as possible is looked at as a good thing, but not always. What's more imperative is that you find people who understand and like you for who you are, not what you own or what your parents make. It is better to count your best friends on one hand rather than just have a list of casual acquaintances.
4) Yes, there are still people who will act like they're still in high school. While many think that high school is over the second you receive your diploma, this is not always the case. Some will still re-live those days as though they were the most important moments in their life, even if it's only a stepping stone to what's really to come. You don't need those people in your life; their drama means nothing in your own goals and dreams.
5) Don't be afraid to branch out. When you get out in the real world, the only way to meet new and interesting people is to get outside of your box every now and then.
Rock that Talent Show in some sexy attire.
Participate in Wiccan rituals to learn more about different cultures & religions.
Find solace in a moonlight walk.
Drink underage at a dive bar with your friends.
Go to a few band afterparties and let go for a while.
Just don't stop living! You need something to tell your grandchildren when they ask you for wild & crazy stories of your life.
6) Things will blow over. No matter how many arguments or hardships come your way, it can always be worse than what it is. Give things time......everything will smooth over with some time and distance. Don't beat yourself up over a friendship that fades or a relationship that ends. It all happens for good reason and with the healing, everything will get better. Death is the only permanent in life.
7) Drama is stupid. Just know this, for you will encounter plenty of it! Many will try to drag you into their drama or involve you in things that will stress you beyond belief! But drama is something that is best left for the stage.
8) There is someone out there who will love you for who you are and who you want to be. Granted, there will be plenty of people who come through and offer the same, but what I mean is the person who you eventually end up with. They're out there, getting to you as fast as they can. You may find people who can temporarily fill that void, but to be with a person who loves the you that you want to be.......there's nothing more that one can ask for!
Someone who loves you when you're happy, sad, or in between.
Someone who handles your crazy when you try to regain sanity.
Someone who treats you with kindness and love, even when you feel you don't deserve it.
Someone who gives you the support in anything you want to do with your life, despite their own reservations about your dream.
Someone who notices those little quirks about you and loves them.
Someone who no matter what happens, wants nothing but your happiness in life, because that's what truly matters in life.
9) Never lose sight of your dreams. When you're young, you think that the world will just give you all the things you want, but that's never the case. The world is sometimes cold and cruel, never bending to the way you hope it will. But while you get beaten down, never lose that hope that you're going to make it, because you eventually will. It may take more time than you thought and your path may have a few detours, but everything happens in their own time.
10) Realize that the most important part of life is to never stop learning and growing. You don't need to be in school to keep expanding your knowledge.......you can discover new things without the use of a book or a classroom.
11) The whole world is not out to get you. While it may be difficult to give some people a chance, do try. Not everyone has malicious intentions with how they act towards you. That's not to say that everyone is with you (because there are douchebags who thrive on watching you suffer), but that even when you don't agree with how people act it doesn't mean that they don't do it without the best of intentions.
12) Don't always settle for the status quo. If you compromise yourself then you have let yourself down. Keep reaching for what you believe is right, because sometimes, you'll win.
13) Life happens for a reason. You won't know why some people walk out of your life while others walk in. You won't understand why you don't get the opportunities that you deem are the most important ones to take. All you can do is take life in stride and know that when one thing doesn't go right, it only means that something better is on the horizon.
14) Keep in touch with your family. They are the people who know you better than most. While you may feel that they can be unfair and out to get you, I promise that their intentions are nothing but honorable......even if you can't see that until you're older.
15) Above all else, make sure to take care of yourself, because in the end, you are all you've got. Sure, there are people who love you and are there to support you, but at the end of the day, you're with yourself. People can come and go, but you remain. So be sure to not beat yourself up too much, but do keep that inner critic to keep you motivated!
16) Ultimately, the key to life is just to be happy (and don't be afraid to share that happiness!) As long as you can do that, you've figured out the most important lesson of all.
~Jenny Rockstar
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