Gimme Some Truth.......

As I sit here in my living room, winding down from another wild weekend with candlelight and some Rufus Wainwright, I have thought a lot about respect and appreciation. And just like with any other moment that it enters my mind, I feel that it is continually tested on a week-to-week basis. Whether it be at my job with the kids who refuse to pose for me and instead want to mouth off......or even some random person in the audience who decides that lashing out is necessary to make their ego feel less bruised at the end of the night, I feel a constant test of just how much I can take. 

But after this past weekend, I've realized that in my heart, I already know who I can trust first and foremost: myself. For so long, I have always second-guessed myself and what I want out of life. When I feel I have it all figured out, I realize I really don't. Back in high school, I wanted to write and be a famous poet. In college, I became more interested in journalism, even though my post-college efforts of trying to utilize that degree has been slow going......which leads me up to present day. With my path slowly being formed the way I want it to go, I know that I need to trust my instincts a little more and remember that I can do anything I dream of just as long as I'm happy. 

I don't need anyone's approval to be who I am, nor do I expect it. The right people stick around and encourage me to pursue what I love, sometimes even give me a clue on how to continue down the path. And for the people who have nothing better to do but break me, I've learned that their opinions, like those of a complete stranger, don't matter to me. I may do things to advance my career path, but I also do things because I love to do them! Whether it be picking up my camera and capturing moments, having in-depth discussions about life and goals for some insight, or even sitting down and writing out my thoughts and ideas to process what's going on in my life.   

I'm Jenn. I'm kind, caring, helpful. If you know me well I can wear my heart on my sleeve, but hurting me results in a long road back to that original me. I love life and everything about it. Simple things like listening to vinyl records with a glass of wine or browsing the nearest bookstore make me smile as bright as the sun.......aside from Matt. When I'm in my element, I forget what stress or anxiety feel like and start to remember how important it is to dream big and reach for the stars. I love being a kid whenever the opportunity presents itself, because while adulthood is part of life, you should never stop having that child-like spirit.....and I don't care who feels that acting like a kid is beneath them, because it's not.

So after another crazy weekend, I get to put away my camera and instead put on my most comfy of pjs. And in those quiet moments of winding down, I know that in the end, I have myself (and Matt) and that's the most important part of all.

~Jenny Rockstar~

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