Trusting My Instincts

As the girlfriend of a musician, it sometimes gets difficult when I can't be at a show. There are those times that no matter how many shows I see, it just isn't feasible or possible for me to come see the show.......and it may suck, but it's okay. Our time apart is always a good time to spend with our friends, as well as give us perspective on our relationship. It always makes our time together a lot more meaningful to the both of us!

I'll also admit that sometimes, it makes me think about the girls that will hit on Matt when I'm not there. I'm not stupid, I know that there are many females in the audience who are into the idea of scoring a band member for the night, thinking that they have a chance with any member that is on that stage. In fact, I've been present at a few shows where girls, who knew I was there after Matt told them I was there, still tried to invite him back to their room. Needless to say, if I had heard them, I would've walked over and gladly introduced myself, shattering the illusion!

I'm not saying it's a bad thing that girls hit on Matt. Quite the contrary, I find it flattering that women find him attractive, because it's also a nice reminder of what a wonderful guy I have in my life. If there are other girls noticing what I see in him and trying to be a part of that, it can get annoying at times, but it shows me that I've found someone worth knowing. 

But getting back on topic, it got me thinking to what constitutes "crossing the line," so to speak. I know it's important that these very girls who like to flirt with the guys come out to as many shows as possible......this is the target audience that will help the fan base grow exponentially. For this, I am cool with Matt having to go talk to the ladies. Most of my friends will not understand this, because they think that he should come be around me for the night, but it's also his job to go out and meet the audience. And I'm completely cool with that. If I wasn't, then what I am doing dating a musician in the first place? 

It's not like I haven't been on the opposite end of this discussion. Even when I'm out at shows to see friends who are musicians, I have found that sometimes their significant others tend to get a little jealous or weird that I talk to their man. It's nothing more than friendship, being that I'm in my own relationship, but I couldn't help but really consider why anyone would be jealous or upset with me in the first place. Call it insecurity, call it jealousy, call it whatever you want.....but it showed me something. There are also girls that come out to shows that I know are in my position, just out to see their friends and nothing more. Now why am I comfortable with them and not with the other girls?

Thinking about this made me ponder the core values of a relationship.....and it got me to the first HUGE part of it: trust. I trust Matt. I don't trust those other girls. I never will trust those other girls. And I never have to trust those other girls. They haven't given me reason to with their behavior. Instead, I put my faith in the only person I need to believe in. Does it suck when I've met and conversed with girls who disrespect me? Yes. But in the end, they're not with Matt......and I am. 

So at least for a gig here and there, we're apart......but it makes our time together just that much more special.

~Jenny Rockstar

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