10.21.2010

Sometimes....you just gotta let it all out

Let's face it: we all have bad days. It's true that when you're happy the smallest things can always keep that happiness going. But then....there are those days where everything seems to go wrong and all you want is a box of tissues and a pint of Haagen Daz. (Or a punching bag and a desire to have a lobotomy from all the stupidity you've encountered.) And when that happens, all the happy, motivational music doesn't seem to quite cut it. You're angry, upset, tearful, numb, and feeling empty (even when surrounded by loved ones.)

But in those times, I still find music to be just as important in keeping me grounded and sane while I process my emotions. Whether it be loud and obnoxious, full of hateful words, empowering, or sad and melancholy, I need those songs to bring my head to a better place to fully process what I'm feeling. So here they are, in no particular order, ten of my go-to songs for when I'm feeling a little less like myself.

1) Points of Authority by Linkin Park - If we want to talk angry and hate-filled, this is my go-to song in those moments. I almost feel like in that exact moment, those words sum up all the rage I have inside, no matter what the situation. Just the way the lyrics are spoken with such intensity and malice, I can relate in those moments when I just can't take anymore. The way Mike Shinoda sings "forfeit the game before somebody else takes you out of the frame" makes me feel liberated and alive inside, like I can intimidate those who are screwing with my mind. And sometimes, you need to feel that empowerment more than anything in order to cope.

2) What Goes Around, Comes Around by Justin Timberlake - Yes, this may be a little more pop-like for this list, but hearing Justin sing about a girl who wronged him and how karma comes back to bite her in the ass....who hasn't been in a situation where you feel this way about someone else? It's just such a powerful song in its message that while you can be hurt, life will take care of those who have wronged you. Karma will always take care of it.

3) Bigger Than My Body by John Mayer - Even when angry music has taken over my playlist, this John Mayer gem always brings me back to being as positive as possible in times of need. Sometimes we can reach beyond what we're ready to reach for....and hearing this song reminds me that while I'm not ready to reach for what I want yet, it doesn't mean that I'm too far off from achieving my goal. I will get there. I will reach my goal. It just may take a little more than what I've given already....and that's ok.

4) Bodies by Drowning Pool - Oh yes, even my collection of music includes this angry, hateful song. Why? Because sometimes, you just need to scream in song about how you feel about getting pushed around again and again. I can remember friends cracking jokes about this song (that are not quite appropriate to say in a public forum), but I always give this song a listen when nothing else is allowing me to quite express the anger that I'm carrying inside. 

5) Sleep to Dream by Fiona Apple - I have always considered Fiona Apple to be great music to listen to when I just need a good cry. Some of her music is depressing and can always bring me down to its level when I need to let out my melancholy. But there's just something about her music, especially this song, that helps me cope with people who I care about that walk all over me. 

6) Gives You Hell by The All-American Rejects - A newer addition to my music collection, yet this song struck a chord with me the first time I heard it. I love how the words are an expression of one person telling the other that they hope that whenever they are thought about, that it makes them suffer just a little bit. 

7) Kim by Eminem - For anyone that has heard this song, you understand how disturbing this one can truly be. Eminem takes it beyond everything by writing a song about killing his woman because she cheated on him. And when I say disturbing, I mean disturbing to even using the sound effects of him dragging her dead body back to the car and throwing it in the trunk. You hear her crying and desperate for him to spare her life, but he won't hear any of it! And while it's normally not what I listen to all the time, it helps release that anger that can bottle up every now and then.

8) Break Stuff by Limp Bizkit - Fairly self-explanatory if you listen to the words. Yet for those who have not heard it, I do think you should locate this track on a bad day and hit "play"....and listen to Fred Durst go on about how we all have those horrible days where our anger gets the better of us and we need to just break something to feel better. 

9) Smile by Charlie Chaplin - Ok, so I haven't heard the original version, but the words to this song? Beautiful. Amidst all the angry music, there needs to be encouragement and hope somewhere. And what better way to capture that motivation than by a song that talks about smiling despite all the pain you feel? That smiling will always get you through, no matter how difficult the situation you find yourself in. 

10) What It Feels Like For A Girl by Madonna - So I know the real subtext of these words are not directly about how boys need to put themselves into a girl's shoes, but I can't help but feel a connection with this song. Sometimes, I wish that boys knew how I felt inside about what happens to me on a day-to-day basis. How girls struggle with so many more issues, because they're under pressure for the image they portray to the world. We're more in touch with our feelings and are taught that to not show emotion is a bad thing. It's raw, it's emotional and it fits the mood of how I feel most of the time....misunderstood and alone.

~Jenny Rockstar

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