Being Thankful....

With Thanksgiving on the horizon, it occurred to me today that this year has been one of many reasons to be thankful. Sure, every year I will always be thankful for the people I have met and memories I have made, yet this year has definitely been one to top the charts!


Each year, I am always thankful for friends, family, and (for almost three years now) the most wonderful boyfriend I could have ever asked for. 


I am thankful for the love in my life. It genuinely feels incredible to have that feeling of being loved every single day! (And to share that love with those around me.)


I am thankful to have someone in my life with which I can share everything. Not everyone finds their best friend/love of their life as quickly as I have.


I am thankful for the smiles, the laughter, and the love that occurs in my life on a daily basis. Without those, I don't know how I'd make it through life day to day.


I am thankful for a good book to read, a great album to listen to, and a movie that can make feel the emotions of the characters in that moment.


I am thankful for the ability to smell the saltwater in the air, the feeling of the sand in my toes, and hear the roar of the waves as it crashes into the surf.


I am thankful for those moments that take my breath away, which seem to be happening even more now than ever.


I am thankful to be in a job that allows me the chance to share a smile and friendship (and possibly a drink or two) with some wonderful co-workers.


I am thankful for opportunities that bring me closer to my dreams, no matter how big or small those opportunities may be. Each one is a step in the right direction.


I am thankful for meeting new people and forming new relationships, as well as having the opportunity to experience those relationships which have faded through the years. Each person you meet will impact your life in ways that you cannot even imagine.


I am thankful for knowing the meaning of "fortunate" by having a roof over my head, a clean bill of health, a car to drive, a warm bed to sleep in, food in my belly, and the clothes on my back. 


I am thankful for what I have learned from the past and all of the wonderful/exciting things that the future will bring. 


While the list could go on and on, most importantly, I'm thankful for my life. It has taken me a long time to get here, but I wouldn't trade this life for all the traveling and riches of the world. At the end of the day, true riches remain with the people who care about you, not what you own or what you've had the chance to see in your lifetime. And the stories that I have to share from my life? Completely epic.


And so, I hope everyone has a very Happy Thanksgiving, wherever you are. Eat lots of food tomorrow, drink to your heart's content, and remember to be appreciative of everything you have in your life....very few are as lucky as you and me.


~Jenny Rockstar

In the Witching Hour.....

With Halloween in full swing, I've begun my "ritual" in celebration of the holiday.

Instead of my favorite cheesy chick flicks being in rotation, I pop on AMC's FearFest for some Wolf Man and Frankenstein.

In the car, my stereo blasts the Rocky Horror Picture Show soundtrack and I sing "Dammit Janet" at the top of my lungs....many people in their cars probably questioning my sanity when they catch me in the act.

I could handle some Nosferatu with a big bowl of popcorn, some Lindt chocolate truffles, and a glass of red wine.

And every paranormal investigation show replaces my usual Family Guy lineup.

Yes, Halloween is definitely one of my all-time favorite holidays....one where I spend as much time as possible trying to scare the shit out of myself with anything and everything abnormal.

So in honor of this ghoulish holiday, I have decided to add my favorite Halloween songs to listen to as I bring in the holiday.

1) Thriller by Michael Jackson - So it would only be fitting that MJ grace my list with this classic....and this one is no exception! I mean, come on now, the music video alone speaks for the song, with a Wolf Man scene, zombies, and that ever-famous zombie dancing. While it has been years since I've done the famous dance scene for anyone, I can't help but want to turn this song up whenever those opening notes arouse my aural senses. 

2) Poltergeist (Main Title) Theme Song by Jerry Goldsmith - The child-like music, those melodic voices....all topped off with creepy, ominous laughter? There is truly nothing more disturbing than this particular movie theme song. 

3) Monster Mash by Bobby "Boris" Pickett - A classic! Anywhere I go, the moment this song comes on, I just have to bop around (even in my car) and sing at the top of my lungs (room permitting). (And sometimes, I wish I could even show off my version of the "Transylvania Twist"!)

4) Time Warp by Richard O'Brien (Rocky Horror Picture Show) - I can remember the first time I watched The Rocky Horror Picture Show. I could not have been more than seven or eight years old when the image of Tim Curry in fishnets and pearls was burned into my memory. Since then, add many a midnight showing complete with perfecting the choreography to this song....absolute perfection!

5) The Shining Theme Song (Dies Irae) by Hector Berlioz - For The Shining, it's not all about watching Jack Nicholson go completely mad! No, I find it even more frightening the way the opening scene captures the isolation of the family as they spend the winter at the Overlook Hotel. And for the initial panning of the camera, the use of one of Berlioz's most famous pieces....brilliant! 

6) Purple People Eater by Sheb Wooley - What a weird, yet hysterical musical number! I don't think there are even words to describe how much Purple People Eater makes me laugh every time I hear it. 

7) Ghostbusters Theme Song by Ray Parker - I think my favorite memory of this song was being in a dive bar in  the Village and having a Marine pick this particular number on the jukebox....all in honor of Bill Murray being in the bar that night. There are no words to the amount of "cheese" this song embodies, but it is still pretty damn catchy! Just keep remembering to ask yourself....who you gonna call?

8) Twilight Zone Theme Song by Marius Constant - A simple, ominous melody, interjected with Rod Serling's even creepier voice? Even though I won't be able to watch this particular marathon until New Year's Eve....I still cannot help but place this classic on my list.

9) Werewolves of London by Warren Zevon - Not exactly created for Halloween, but come now....what could be better than some Warren Zevon jamming out and singing about werewolves? Definitely a classic.

10) Psycho Theme Song by Bernard Herrmann - This movie gives me the creeps....in so many ways. Because while Janet Leigh's character is worried about being caught with all of that money, she has no clue that she has stumbled onto the craziest person of all....Norman Bates. And for this movie, the music needed to be perfect in the portrayal of the story. The violins and their creepy melody are what help to make Hitchcock's classic go from creepy to just downright disturbing!

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There you have it, my favorite Halloween music picks....and on that note, hope everyone has had one killer Halloween!

~Jenny Rockstar

Sometimes....you just gotta let it all out

Let's face it: we all have bad days. It's true that when you're happy the smallest things can always keep that happiness going. But then....there are those days where everything seems to go wrong and all you want is a box of tissues and a pint of Haagen Daz. (Or a punching bag and a desire to have a lobotomy from all the stupidity you've encountered.) And when that happens, all the happy, motivational music doesn't seem to quite cut it. You're angry, upset, tearful, numb, and feeling empty (even when surrounded by loved ones.)

But in those times, I still find music to be just as important in keeping me grounded and sane while I process my emotions. Whether it be loud and obnoxious, full of hateful words, empowering, or sad and melancholy, I need those songs to bring my head to a better place to fully process what I'm feeling. So here they are, in no particular order, ten of my go-to songs for when I'm feeling a little less like myself.

1) Points of Authority by Linkin Park - If we want to talk angry and hate-filled, this is my go-to song in those moments. I almost feel like in that exact moment, those words sum up all the rage I have inside, no matter what the situation. Just the way the lyrics are spoken with such intensity and malice, I can relate in those moments when I just can't take anymore. The way Mike Shinoda sings "forfeit the game before somebody else takes you out of the frame" makes me feel liberated and alive inside, like I can intimidate those who are screwing with my mind. And sometimes, you need to feel that empowerment more than anything in order to cope.

2) What Goes Around, Comes Around by Justin Timberlake - Yes, this may be a little more pop-like for this list, but hearing Justin sing about a girl who wronged him and how karma comes back to bite her in the ass....who hasn't been in a situation where you feel this way about someone else? It's just such a powerful song in its message that while you can be hurt, life will take care of those who have wronged you. Karma will always take care of it.

3) Bigger Than My Body by John Mayer - Even when angry music has taken over my playlist, this John Mayer gem always brings me back to being as positive as possible in times of need. Sometimes we can reach beyond what we're ready to reach for....and hearing this song reminds me that while I'm not ready to reach for what I want yet, it doesn't mean that I'm too far off from achieving my goal. I will get there. I will reach my goal. It just may take a little more than what I've given already....and that's ok.

4) Bodies by Drowning Pool - Oh yes, even my collection of music includes this angry, hateful song. Why? Because sometimes, you just need to scream in song about how you feel about getting pushed around again and again. I can remember friends cracking jokes about this song (that are not quite appropriate to say in a public forum), but I always give this song a listen when nothing else is allowing me to quite express the anger that I'm carrying inside. 

5) Sleep to Dream by Fiona Apple - I have always considered Fiona Apple to be great music to listen to when I just need a good cry. Some of her music is depressing and can always bring me down to its level when I need to let out my melancholy. But there's just something about her music, especially this song, that helps me cope with people who I care about that walk all over me. 

6) Gives You Hell by The All-American Rejects - A newer addition to my music collection, yet this song struck a chord with me the first time I heard it. I love how the words are an expression of one person telling the other that they hope that whenever they are thought about, that it makes them suffer just a little bit. 

7) Kim by Eminem - For anyone that has heard this song, you understand how disturbing this one can truly be. Eminem takes it beyond everything by writing a song about killing his woman because she cheated on him. And when I say disturbing, I mean disturbing to even using the sound effects of him dragging her dead body back to the car and throwing it in the trunk. You hear her crying and desperate for him to spare her life, but he won't hear any of it! And while it's normally not what I listen to all the time, it helps release that anger that can bottle up every now and then.

8) Break Stuff by Limp Bizkit - Fairly self-explanatory if you listen to the words. Yet for those who have not heard it, I do think you should locate this track on a bad day and hit "play"....and listen to Fred Durst go on about how we all have those horrible days where our anger gets the better of us and we need to just break something to feel better. 

9) Smile by Charlie Chaplin - Ok, so I haven't heard the original version, but the words to this song? Beautiful. Amidst all the angry music, there needs to be encouragement and hope somewhere. And what better way to capture that motivation than by a song that talks about smiling despite all the pain you feel? That smiling will always get you through, no matter how difficult the situation you find yourself in. 

10) What It Feels Like For A Girl by Madonna - So I know the real subtext of these words are not directly about how boys need to put themselves into a girl's shoes, but I can't help but feel a connection with this song. Sometimes, I wish that boys knew how I felt inside about what happens to me on a day-to-day basis. How girls struggle with so many more issues, because they're under pressure for the image they portray to the world. We're more in touch with our feelings and are taught that to not show emotion is a bad thing. It's raw, it's emotional and it fits the mood of how I feel most of the time....misunderstood and alone.

~Jenny Rockstar

Pre-Order Mark Salling's album Pipe Dreams!

Hey everyone! Check out Mark Salling's debut album Pipe Dreams when it hits the airwaves 10/26, but be sure to click on the link below and pre-order your album!

@mark_salling's album Pipe Dreams is available for pre-order now!

~Jenny Rockstar

Enter for a chance to get a 10 minute phone call with Mark Salling!

Hey everyone! Check out this link and help me win a 10-minute phone interview with Glee's star Mark Salling!

Also, check out his new album Pipe Dreams when it hits the airwaves 10/26!

Enter for a chance to get a 10 minute phone call with Mark Salling!

~Jenny Rockstar

Have A Little Faith In Me....

As I have found very little time between my photography job, my other side-jobs, and making sure to live my life....writing has taken the backseat to  what's been going on in my life. But something tonight finally jolted me out of my hiatus and so I felt the need to update.

Yes, I am still working on my music project, even more diligently than ever as I have started to download and add some of my new music to my iTunes collection! The musical journey has taught me a lot about myself and what I'm looking for in life, but I digress. Tonight, as I cozied up on the couch with Matt and watched tonight's new episode of Glee....I couldn't help but be drawn to the topic at hand: Faith. 

In the episode, it deals with faith and how each person believes in something different....even if nothing at all. The members of the glee club each express what faith means to them, whether it be through going to Temple, Church, or praying to a grilled cheese sandwich with the face of Jesus burned onto it. Point being, each person had their own belief of what faith and spirituality meant to them, even if they didn't have any at all.

There are times that I can relate to Kurt's character, where I don't necessarily believe in there being a structured higher power to believe in. Instead, feeling that a belief in a higher power is just something that makes people sleep better at night. I know not everyone will understand what I mean by that and attack my previous statement, but I don't care. I believe in a God that I can talk to whenever I want to, share whatever I believe in, and I don't feel pressured to be in a cookie-cutter type of religion. But I do respect other religions and beliefs, even if it's not what I necessarily agree with. It's pertinent to always have faith in something, even if it is only yourself.

With that said, the episode got me thinking about Faith in my own life and where it lies now. I still have my random conversations with God whenever I feel I need to talk out life....good or bad. And it got me thinking about the ways I view music and writing. Music has become part of my own faith, giving me the strength to keep going on a daily basis, as well as keep my life in focus. It's a part of who I am and what I believe in. But writing? I never make more time for it....and that's where I falter.

In an effort to truly devote myself more to my "faith," I need to make more time for my writing. Instead of holding out for two weeks to write another entry, I need to push myself harder to write weekly, sometimes twice a week. It'll give me peace of mind, it'll keep me grounded. And most important, it'll keep my faith in check. 

So for now, I bid you all goodnight; I will be back to updating musically very soon!

~Jenny Rockstar

Feelin' the Glee

If you haven't noticed, I am big fan of the show Glee. Most people may see it as a teeny-bopper type of show about a Glee Club....but to me, I love the storyline, the characters, and of course, the music! (Whenever it comes on, I feel like I become 16 years old all over again and giggle just like a schoolgirl!) The music in itself is amazing....so much so that I am always wondering who arranges those show-stoppers. (For the record, it's Adam Anders.)

This show has reminded me of the importance of music and reaching for my goals in life, two things I am finally finding my way with right now. Having that constant reminder that being a part of something special makes you special, I take those words to heart when I encounter new goals and projects in my life. And so far, the ride has been spectacular!

But putting all of that aside, I decided as a treat with the season premiere coming up, this week's top ten are the songs that I think would be great to hear on the show Glee. And in addition to adding those songs, who I think should sing them and a little explanation as to why.

1) Cowboy by Kid Rock - I think it goes without saying that this just screams Puck! First off, he has that whole badass persona to keep up, as well as looking sexy with a guitar. We saw the more tender side last season with Beth and his affection towards Quinn....but I think I miss the rough and tumble side of Puck! Definitely need to stop showing all this affection and get back to what really makes his character so damn awesome to begin with. And who better to channel that badassness through this song but him?

2) Lucky by Jason Mraz & Colbie Caillat - Even though they have sang sooooo many of the duets, what's one more to add to Finn/Rachel list? This song. As they get older, there's going to be college searches and possible long-distance relationships. I don't necessarily see Finn in NYC with Rachel when they both go to college, but I do see a lot of working Therefore, this song is a perfect fit for the slightly mismatched, yet perfect pair. (On a side note, I did hear that this one is possibly being used in an upcoming episode....just not with Finn and Rachel singing it.)

3) She's Out Of My Life by Michael Jackson - Will seems to always have a pull to Emma in the show, but I wonder what he would sing if he didn't end up with Emma? Well, at least in the beginning of this season anyway. And this song popped into my head. Emma seems adamant about being in this new relationship with her dentist and instead of shying away from it, I see her moving towards it. I want to see Will regretting some of his previous decisions with women and really understanding what it means to have Emma gone. Not to mention, this song is absolutely amazing.

4) Picture by Kid Rock & Sheryl Crow - Tina & Artie are not given as much face time as the other big Glee couples, but their relationship is certainly an interesting one as well. It makes me a little sad that I will not see them together at the beginning of this season (due to Artie's lack of performing boyfriend duties), but I have hope for them yet. So in turn, when both of them are trying to be with different people to give one another space, I would love to see Tina & Artie have a moment of clarity that all they want is one another. And what better way for it to happen but when they come across a memory that makes them reconsider their feelings?

5) Natural Woman by Aretha Franklin - I love Mercedes and her powerhouse voice! And I wanna hear more "Chocolate Thunder" in this upcoming season, which is where this jewel comes from. Mercedes should find her way into a relationship and sing this song about said male suitor. I want to see her diva side come out in a subtler way....singing about a man who makes her feel like she can be exactly who she is. We see her pursue her fashionable male BFF and then be pursued by a womanizing smooth-talker. I would love to see the other characters on the show, like Mercedes, be in positive relationships.

6) I Wish The Best For You by Emerson Hart - Finn & Quinn's relationship should be addressed this season....gain the closure that it so desperately needs. Because when it comes to these two, we didn't really see them interact after everything happened with the Quinn/Puck betrayal. In Glee Club, they barely said two words to one another and even less outside of the club. With the previews that have shown Quinn trying to pursue Finn, it got me thinking about how there is still lots of tension between these two....and it should be resolved through song.

7) You've Got A Friend by James Taylor - Ah, yes! A cheesy, but amazing group number for the club....one that focuses on how no matter what happens, they are friends. And come on, it's James Taylor! Need I say more?

8) Piece of My Heart by Janis Joplin - Quinn is not featured in the songs nearly as much as she should, but I would really love to see her breakout and get a little more rockified with this number. And Janis couldn't say it any better! She seems to be going through a lot of transitions in this show, from Finn to Puck and having to deal with her feelings on the both of them. I'm sure she still has feelings for Finn, despite her cheating, and for Puck, despite his player ways. I feel like she should reach the point where enough is enough and she just sings about the guys in her life just breaking her heart....urging them to just go through with it and toughen her up even more. 

9) The Only Exception by Paramore - Santana always tends to come off as a bitch on the show, yet I would like to see a little more humanity from her. I'm sure the whole Quinn/Puck ordeal really bothers her, especially since she has had quite a few trysts with Puck throughout the season. Therefore, this song has caught my attention....yet maybe not for her to sing to Puck. There's so much talk about Santana and Brittany and their relationship, why not have this song as a way for Santana to express to Brittany how despite how much she refuses to let others in, Brittany is the only one who really sees her for who she is. 

10) I'm Not Okay (I Promise) by My Chemical Romance - This last one was really difficult to come up with, but still an important one all the same. I always see Kurt getting kicked down and frustrated with life, so I think he needs to break out of his shell and really speak out on how he feels! It would be a major deviation from his normal repertoire, but I really believe he could pull the song off with class and vigor!

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Glee is an iconic show of our time. Here's to another two seasons of epic characters, storylines, and of course, music!

~Jenny Rockstar

what do you say to giving second chances....

Let's get one thing straight: when it's comes to music that sounds like it uses quite a bit of synthesizers and technology....it is a major turn-off. Frankly, I abhor it, because real music to me uses real instruments and has a more garage-like feel. Or at least that's how I feel when it comes to rock. It's probably why I am deeply attracted to the classic rock era of music....it's the closest to raw talent that I have listened to in a while.

So it surprised me when my fave fab NYC couple Team Stewart presented me with the album suggestion Wolfgang Amadeus Phoenix by Phoenix. Definitely listening to my ideas of breaking out of my proverbial music shell, I diligently searched through YouTube archives to locate the suggested songs. Before the experience, I was super reluctant to give this album a try, as I would continually pass over it when I saw it on the racks at Target. Nothing about the album grabbed me....not even the rather plain album cover. Yes, in this instance, before even giving the band a chance, I automatically wrote them off as one of those emo bands with which they shared the shelf. 

But in an effort to keep up with my musical journey, I gave the band a listen while I caught up on my e-mails and Facebook updates. What surprised me the most while the faint strains of "Lisztomania" came through my computer speakers was an electronic/rock feel that the music seemed to embody. As I stated earlier, I don't really care for such an over-produced sound....yet I started to really enjoy the music. It has more than just that synthesized feel, more than just a bunch of produced sounds used to create something enjoyable....there is an element of actual instrumentation mixed in with all the technology. 

Kinda excited about the first selection, I promptly located the next selection they gave me, "1901," and clicked play. Even more interesting was that I thoroughly enjoyed the second selection as well....making me excited for finding "Fences" and playing that selection as well. Of course, I was just as surprised at that song as I was with the previous two....especially since all songs used an element of music that I never really considered "music" before! 

After giving the three selections a listen, I realized the importance of learning more about the different genres of music. It is imperative to give every type of music some sort of chance before you give up on it. A 'second chance,' if you will. Even though I found a more technologically produced sound to be not as aesthetically pleasing to the ear....adding in that element of actual instrumentation created a sound that surprised and intrigued me. In general, the music definitely reflected Team Stewart....a fashionista-type of garage rock. (So much so that I have purchased the album and it has been in heavy rotation in my car's cd player!) 

Music....can certainly surprise you. In ways that make you feel almost blind-sided and thrown. But I enjoy the feeling, because sometimes being pleasantly surprised makes you start to appreciate what you're listening to. Even contemplating giving a particular genre of music another chance, that's truly magical. 

~Jenny Rockstar

Sometimes sharing really means more than caring....

It has been said that journeys are often more enjoyable when you have someone to share it with....... 

Now, whether or not I agree with that statement is questionable. I think it really depends on what kind of journey one is taking. If it's one of self-reflection....maybe that's better left for just yourself. Sometimes, it's important to keep some experiences just for yourself, so you can remember just how hard you worked alone on that solo path to reach the destination. But not all journeys are better left for one person. When there are those moments that you watch a sunrise or see something mind-blowing occur, it's always nice to be there with another person who takes in that very moment with you. 

So far, my music experiences have been best shared with friends and loved ones. I can remember excursions in college to many live shows, being handed an album by a band that I had never heard of (and being told to listen to it), even educating those around me about new music for them to include in their own collection. 

As I continue down this musical journey that I started, what I've enjoyed is that even though I sometimes take the path alone, I have even more points along the way where I can share more than just my feelings on the music with everyone....I can share the experience itself.

While Matt has contributed a few suggestions of his own, he became interested in my project when he read a few of the suggestions that I had come across....especially one that he had given me on a whim. During the summer, while performing a solo show at a country club, one drunken bar patron had requested to hear the song Taxi by Harry Chapin. Not knowing the song and still in the middle of performing Cat's in the Cradle, Matt tried to appease the patron to the best of his ability, assuring he would learn it if there was time. 

Later on, as we drove home, that very request came up in conversation. I had never heard the song before. Hell, I knew next to nothing about Harry Chapin! His music has never made it onto my ipod, nor did I care enough to learn more about him. Then again, a lot of the music that has been given to me so far has been music that at one point or another, I didn't really care to know more about. So in an effort to continue expanding my musical education (as well as learn more about Harry Chapin), I added the song Taxi to my list. Hopefully, I'd get the chance to have a listen within the next few days or so. And then the funniest thing happened....

Matt offered to be there to listen to the song with me. I had spent so much time focusing on how I would react to the music that I forgot how others would interpret it. And so, on a day off from all shows and work, Matt and I sat in our apartment as I located the intended track and hit play. 

The song itself is about a cab driver who inadvertently runs into a past love as his last cab ride of the night. While at first she claims not to know who he is, when she sees his face, they reminisce and talk about their lives. As Chapin continues singing, he realizes that in going their separate ways both of them changed so much in the process that years down the line, there was no hope for any reconciliation....small price to pay for pursuit of their own disillusioned dreams. 

It was touching, realistic, and sad....the way most romantic relationships do end. There was no talk of closure, no epic moment. Just the idea that when you do see someone who used to know you so well, you may as well have been strangers for all the time that has passed. Because when it's all said and done, what else is there to share? 

I don't know if Matt truly looked into the song for deeper meaning, but I do know that both of us really enjoyed the song at face value. Chapin's storytelling ability is quite simple and moving, which is exactly how most songs that tell a story should go. Music should not always be complicated, but sometimes share a moment with us. It can be so hard to follow and appreciate a song that doesn't have real meaning, no structure, and no sense of connection to the audience. But a story....always goes a long way. 

~Jenny Rockstar

these streets will make you feel brand new, big lights will inspire you....

I know I've been lax lately on the whole writing thing, but with lack of time on my hands, it's been a constant push to even have the time to write in the first place. Fortunately, with all moving done and a day to process everything that has happened in the past week, I decided to take a quick break from writing about music and talk about one of my other loves in life: New York City.

Ever since I could remember, my family would love taking trips into Manhattan and having the chance to do fun things. Whether it be a Broadway show, Rockefeller Center to see the Christmas tree, or celebrate an event with dinner, taking that 30-minute trek into the Big Apple always made me giddy with excitement and wonder. Even when I started working at Columbia Business School, I loved taking my time strolling down the streets, letting the familiar sounds of yellow cab car horns and random conversations fill me up with a sense of calm....as well as partaking in some of the most diverse cuisines one could ever find! It's like it has a personality of its very own....and when you've left it, it never leaves you.

Where else can you find Little Italy and Chinatown right next to one another? 

One day, you could venture Uptown and hang around the Columbia University scene while the next, you could head down to the Village for some great dive clubs and original artists.

Attending the Ballet or an Opera can be done on short notice with a student id. 

On certain days, front row tickets to a Broadway show could be trumped by eating pretzels in Central Park or walking the Brooklyn Bridge on a Sunday afternoon. 

Crossing the street and walking past a celebrity or two is not uncommon. 

It's a fashion mecca, a music scene, and a financial gateway all in one! 

Depending on your interest, New York has a little something for everyone. 

I once read somewhere that "When you leave New York, you ain't goin' nowhere." Now, for some it could mean the sense that you're leaving a place that can bring you further than any other place you've imagined, yet I take it as meaning that no matter how hard you try to walk away from it, New York tends to grow on you....always taking a piece of your heart in the process.

With that being said, last night, on kinda last minute notice, I visited a friend or two in the city for a night out. And as I boarded NJ Transit, I felt a sense of giddiness that I had not felt in a long time! It felt like I was returning to some familiar home, although that home is full of smelly garbage and people that will run you over on the sidewalk without so much as a backwards glance. But I didn't care. I felt like a kid on Christmas, surrounded by shimmering lights and the promise that maybe in my recent craziness of trying to make something of myself, I could accomplish anything that I dreamed of. 

Walking those city blocks, sharing some coffee talk in one of the many Starbucks around Manhattan, pushing my way through the crowds that clamor to reach the subway stairs....I felt at home. Sure, living at the beach has become my favorite home so far, but New York City will always hold that piece of my heart. Though it can be hard, cruel, and spit you out at the mere thought of kindness, I admire its tenacity and strength to keep going. One could argue that NYC has a personality of its very own, but it's up to the person who walks through it to figure out how they mesh with it.

As a new goal for this year, I want to start spending more time in my other home. As a way to further my progress on myself, I need that sense of home to re-connect with passion and drive on new levels. It was Dr. James Hillman who wrote "you come to New York to find the ambiance that will evoke your best." Whether or not that's true, I have yet to see. But I do know one thing: I need New York to bring Jenn the writer out of her shell even more. 

~Jenny Rockstar

****On a side note, I would also like to take this time to remember that today is September 11th, a day that will always ring strong with every New Yorker, American, and any individual who was affected by its impact. Even after nine years, I can still remember where I was, what I was doing, and every emotion that went through me as I struggled to deal with the repercussions of the actions. What it taught me is that no matter what people do to try and hurt us, standing up proudly against injustice and intolerance is important. 

While I know that as a nation, we still struggle with Islam and the ability to see past what Bin Laden did....showing tolerance and kindness to others is more important than pointing fingers at an entire culture of individuals because of a terrorist group and their crazy leader. I'm tired of all the fighting and backlashes that 9/11 produced in the process. Why can't we, as a nation, use our mind and exercise kindness and compassion to prove that in the end, Bin Laden did not win? Showing that despite his horrible, malicious actions, we still embrace and encourage freedom to all who desire it. That is how we truly win and stand as a nation.

But today is also a time to remember those who gave their lives today. All 2,977 victims. Their memories will live on, reminding us that the cost of our freedom isn't free, yet we cannot repair the damage with lashing out at others. For any American or individual who embraces the ability to be who you want to be, stand strong today (and every day). Enjoy life to the fullest and never forget what we sacrifice and the lessons we learn from it.****